We always hear people say ‘it’s the little things’. I remember when I was married, and in love – loved in return; I’d find myself at a potluck, church picnic, Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner with extended family, or a family reunion or cookout, being asked by Ansley, “You want me to fix you a plate, babe?” She knows the answer to that of course… lol. But just to hear her say it.. Just to hear her offer. To know she was thinking about getting her man fed before she went on to eat for herself. Knowing that she was selflessly thinking about me… I know… we’re talking about a plate of macaroni and cheese, ham hocks, greens, and candied yams… But I always felt there was so much more.
Take Christal [pictured above] for example. She’s a girl I’ve known for a while. PYT, lost, daddy-issues, in search for love more than she’s in search for a future for herself. And hell, she could be just telling me what she thinks I want to hear, but from where I sit its the correct answer. Why the hell not? If you’re with a man, why not do things for him?
I’ve seen responses to this question or scenario from women I am certain will die alone.
- “He got his own hands.”
- “I ain’t his momma.”
- “He got me fucked up”
- “I don’t think so.”
- “I’m nobody’s servant.
^Perfect example^
If this is really how these women would react, what kind of man would want that? Not saying all men even desire for their woman to fix their plate… but isn’t it a nice gesture? A thoughtful one? Shouldn’t we be trying to show the person we’re with that we care? Not just with things like this, but with other things as well. Cleaning up your hair out of the sink sometimes. Showing genuine appreciation when he notices you’ve done something different with your hair, giving up some head without being asked… shit like that.
I used to think this was a generational thing. Most of the older sisters I know always fix their husbands plate first. I always loved to see it happen. Because it seemed to not only make the guy happy, but her happy as well. Wow!
The looks any woman who has fixed me a plate first have gotten from other women are just the worst. I don’t know if it was because they were Single And Salty, or just really thought my woman was some, weak-subservient type. When in actuality, they were just smart…
Keep your man happy. Put your man first! Step #1 to staying together.
Now I don’t want to hear your bullshit about “well men need to do that too!”, chick, write your own blog. This is about YOU. Be honest.
Do you fix your mans plate first? Have you ever? Do you offer? Why not? Why are you so single? Let me know..
-Rooks
Robert Lovelle Rooks 
I don’t mind fixing him a plate because I know what he likes. Men like to be catered to let’s just be real. The true test for me would be if he waited for me to get my plate before he started eating.
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Nice! Yes! The least we can do is wait til you have your food and are seated next to us ready to eat as well (unless we get the go ahead from you of course… sometimes daddy’s just really really hungry) but yes.., I totally agree. Thanks for your comment!
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While I was married I was often accused by outsiders of being the 1950s wife…I enjoy cooking, and cleaning, raising the children, and serving my man… not once did I feel like I was beneath him, not once did I feel unappreciated, nor did I ever feel used. I did all of these things out of my love for him and my children, not out of duty. I believe that if a man is “serving” his lady with respect, honor, affection and financial support, I don’t see anything wrong with a womans actions of servitude . Fixing a mans plate should never be viewed as a negative thing (unless it is forced, and that’s a different issue)… I see it as a simple gesture of appreciation.
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Thank you for breaking down how ‘serving’ shouldn’t be looked at as a negative thing, and that it goes both ways with different acts. Thanks for reading and commenting!
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