“MUST L❤ve Kids!”


20130413_135702Over the years I’ve heard countless jokes about how we men use children for chick magnets.   As if I needed assistance gaining the attention of a woman, I’d have to question if this has ever really worked for anyone.  I mean… do I know that walking around with one or more children can make me, as a strange man to any woman more approachable?  Yes.  Have women approached me to swoon over my kids?  Of course.  My kids are cute as fuck! But I have recently realized that a number of women are extremely shallow when it comes to being with a man who is a single father.

We used to think this type of behavior was reserved for us men in the adverse.  Not dating women with kids.  Not appreciating women with kids, or just using them for one thing because they’ve already given a very important thing to another man. These days, where it’s pretty much hard to meet a woman with no children – so much so that the

annoying mom shit
[Give me a break]
women who have no children wear it as a fucking badge of honor – one would need to realize if men aren’t dating women with children, then they aren’t doing much dating at all.

 

For years, since the epidemic of males deciding to just ignore the fact that they played a 50% part in creating a child; women have gone out of their way to let would-be suitors know that they and their child(ren) are a package deal.  I really hate that phrase, but whatever. From the mid-nineties til now you’ll see women talking about how they are single moms and their kids come FIRST. Or their son or daughter means the WORLD to them. Like… why does a parent even need to say that?  Always sounds like a guilty conscious and over-compensation to me. Either way, women have known for the longest that they want men to come correct not only for them, but for their pre-20151018_164807existing child.  I’m not really sure why women today have forgotten that like so many other things between the two (real) genders that this goes both ways!

Now, every woman whom I’ve spoken to has told me they either love kids, or welcome the fact that I have them. I suppose at some point in their heads they have to believe that because knowing I’m a Dad, they consciously made the decision to get to know me. Oh! And before I go on, mad respect to the ladies who just KNOW they don’t want a man with kids and just don’t even try.  Though I think the mentality is fucked up, you can’t blame someone for having a preference and knowing your own limits.  That’s called maturity, and I again have mad respect.  Fact is, I’d much rather have a woman either: be honest with herself and know not to even approach me knowing she isn’t going to or just doesn’t want to deal with a man with kids, or be honest with me and tell me that’s the reason we won’t be going any further than what we already have.

IMGP2831It’s the women who aren’t sure they are up to the task, take it on anyway then turn around and decide it wasn’t for them.  AFTER they’ve been introduced to kids.  After they’ve become attached to the kids.  AFTER those kids start to love and depend on you.  AFTER the kids are used to you being in their lives.  And depending on who you are, how good your relationship is with the parent, and how well you interact with the children… doesn’t really take all that long. Kids love LOVE!  And when you give it to them they kids with me and susie grow to expect it rather quickly, depending on their age and past experiences.

 

I’m not really sure I should’ve made this a blog… it’s more like a long-winded PSA.  There’s no need to ask, of course I have been through this myself.  Which is why it’s super easy for me to say shit like… I hope Susie Frederiksen get’s ran over by a dumptruck.  Or, I hope her house catches on fire with her inside.  Or worse… someone does what she did to me and my kids, to her. Just because I’m over her doesn’t mean I don’t feel strongly about how much my kids loved her and the lies she told all of us.  She was the one woman I introduced to my children as a woman I was with, and she was supposed to be [still is] the last.  It’s scarred me and made me overly cautious to do it again.

received_10160639181675511 (1)
Me, with everyone who calls me “Daddy”( Except for Marq)

So yea, I’m a single [divorced] dad.  I’m not a child support dad 😉 I’m not a weekend father, I’m just a father. Who tries his best to do all he can with his littles.  This won’t be changing.  And no matter how many women make it seem like there aren’t many of us out here, I know we exist.  With that being said, if you want to date any of us [ I’d first shoot for someone with less children and babymomma drama] keep it all in mind.  Especially you women who don’t have kids.  You may know kids are important, but you’ll never really get it til you have your own.  Sorry. And you single moms, dating single dads, treat his situation as delicately as you want a man to treat yours. It really is no different.

 

Scream at me

[not too loud though, kids may be sleeping]

 

 

-Rooks

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14 thoughts on ““MUST L❤ve Kids!”

  1. Cami says:

    Very good blog, as always!! Personally, my thing is that I just need someone who understands that my priorities are with my children first and foremost. Usually this works more smoothly with a man that feels the same about his child(ren). Also, not that my kids need a step in father figure, it sure has been nice for that to have just happened naturally and see how much they’ve learned and benefitted from it. But yes I do think women and men tend to try and take on the illusion that everything is going to be perfect and easy when dating another parent. Lol… This couldn’t be further from the truth. And sometimes when they realize it, it’s too late, the littles are involved and they pat the ultimate price. Love you!

    Like

  2. Analyn says:

    U r a great dad! Awesome dad
    I love it! Im sure ur children love u and proud of u mr.robert…u r bless too much
    God bless you po😘😘😘

    Like

  3. Andrea Jiles says:

    Awesome blog babe! I still believe that it is more likely for a single father to find a woman accepting and appreciating his children than vice versa. Especially if a woman has a son from a previous relationship it seems at times he his unable to love or accept the boy as his own. At least from my experience. Keep writing babe! La la Love you! 😘😘

    Like

  4. Leevon Murdock says:

    My hat has always been off to single dads. I know dads in general get the short end of the stick in court battles and life in general. But a man that’s a nurturer and sensitive (not over the top) is a plus in my book. I concur that dating with littles is a challenge even for the woman stepping into the man’s life. The hardest part I found when things weren’t working was not wanting to breakup because I grew attached to the littles. You’re not married what obligation do you have to stick with it and not create another emotional scar on the littles by leaving or staying? What if Dad is totallly loving and sensitive to the littles but close to the cave man mentality when it comes to me. Yes men get a bad rap even when they are the active single parent. But it’s not always easy being the outside woman either.

    Like

    1. Robert Lovelle Rooks says:

      I definitely wasn’t thinking any of this was easy, on anyone. These are situations we find ourselves in after something we thought was a good idea at one time goes terribly wrong. But as you said, we fathers usually end up getting the short end of the stick. After what’s happened to me, I find it hard to have any sympathy for the ladies on this one, though I understand what you’re saying. Keep that hat off, sis! LOL Thanks for reading and commenting! This made my day!

      Like

  5. Maggie Barth says:

    Writing is certainly your gift, and many men no doubt feel this way but don’t have the ability (or platform) to put these thoughts together so eloquently.

    So a question for you – from us single parents – how long do you wait to bring someone around your children? The last thing I want is to bring a string of humans though my son’s life who will no doubt just be a moment in time. That being said, we are a package. How do you navigate this?

    Much love today and always… Keep writing! Xoxo

    Maggie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Robert Lovelle Rooks says:

      Thanks so much, I appreciate that.

      That’s a tricky question. We all know we don’t want or need a whole bunch of randoms around our kids. I’ve even been accused of doing this because all four of my friends on earth are female. I brought ONE girlfriend around them, and that’s because we were ENGAGED. I knew the girl for 2 years, but we were only together for 5 months.
      I’ve even seem some divorce papers mitigating a six month waiting period before bringing any partners into the kids’ lives. But as we all know… we can’t really know if someone is gonna stick around, no matter how long we were together. If that were the case, none of us would even be divorced lol!

      My only advice is to let your partner know how important this situation is… do what you say you’re going to do in the relationship and pray to GOD they do too.

      I’ll keep writing, love. You keep reading! Thanks for commenting!

      Like

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