Over the years I’ve heard countless jokes about how we men use children for chick magnets. As if I needed assistance gaining the attention of a woman, I’d have to question if this has ever really worked for anyone. I mean… do I know that walking around with one or more children can make me, as a strange man to any woman more approachable? Yes. Have women approached me to swoon over my kids? Of course. My kids are cute as fuck! But I have recently realized that a number of women are extremely shallow when it comes to being with a man who is a single father.
We used to think this type of behavior was reserved for us men in the adverse. Not dating women with kids. Not appreciating women with kids, or just using them for one thing because they’ve already given a very important thing to another man. These days, where it’s pretty much hard to meet a woman with no children – so much so that the
women who have no children wear it as a fucking badge of honor – one would need to realize if men aren’t dating women with children, then they aren’t doing much dating at all.
For years, since the epidemic of males deciding to just ignore the fact that they played a 50% part in creating a child; women have gone out of their way to let would-be suitors know that they and their child(ren) are a package deal. I really hate that phrase, but whatever. From the mid-nineties til now you’ll see women talking about how they are single moms and their kids come FIRST. Or their son or daughter means the WORLD to them. Like… why does a parent even need to say that? Always sounds like a guilty conscious and over-compensation to me. Either way, women have known for the longest that they want men to come correct not only for them, but for their pre-existing child. I’m not really sure why women today have forgotten that like so many other things between the two (real) genders that this goes both ways!
Now, every woman whom I’ve spoken to has told me they either love kids, or welcome the fact that I have them. I suppose at some point in their heads they have to believe that because knowing I’m a Dad, they consciously made the decision to get to know me. Oh! And before I go on, mad respect to the ladies who just KNOW they don’t want a man with kids and just don’t even try. Though I think the mentality is fucked up, you can’t blame someone for having a preference and knowing your own limits. That’s called maturity, and I again have mad respect. Fact is, I’d much rather have a woman either: be honest with herself and know not to even approach me knowing she isn’t going to or just doesn’t want to deal with a man with kids, or be honest with me and tell me that’s the reason we won’t be going any further than what we already have.
It’s the women who aren’t sure they are up to the task, take it on anyway then turn around and decide it wasn’t for them. AFTER they’ve been introduced to kids. After they’ve become attached to the kids. AFTER those kids start to love and depend on you. AFTER the kids are used to you being in their lives. And depending on who you are, how good your relationship is with the parent, and how well you interact with the children… doesn’t really take all that long. Kids love LOVE! And when you give it to them they grow to expect it rather quickly, depending on their age and past experiences.
I’m not really sure I should’ve made this a blog… it’s more like a long-winded PSA. There’s no need to ask, of course I have been through this myself. Which is why it’s super easy for me to say shit like… I hope Susie Frederiksen get’s ran over by a dumptruck. Or, I hope her house catches on fire with her inside. Or worse… someone does what she did to me and my kids, to her. Just because I’m over her doesn’t mean I don’t feel strongly about how much my kids loved her and the lies she told all of us. She was the one woman I introduced to my children as a woman I was with, and she was supposed to be [still is] the last. It’s scarred me and made me overly cautious to do it again.
So yea, I’m a single [divorced] dad. I’m not a child support dad 😉 I’m not a weekend father, I’m just a father. Who tries his best to do all he can with his littles. This won’t be changing. And no matter how many women make it seem like there aren’t many of us out here, I know we exist. With that being said, if you want to date any of us [ I’d first shoot for someone with less children and babymomma drama] keep it all in mind. Especially you women who don’t have kids. You may know kids are important, but you’ll never really get it til you have your own. Sorry. And you single moms, dating single dads, treat his situation as delicately as you want a man to treat yours. It really is no different.
Scream at me
[not too loud though, kids may be sleeping]