I’m a Cool Dad.


received_10160126819220511Can anyone tell me when this happened?  I’m a dad.  A father.  To not one, or two, but to five kids!

A teenage kid, and a four year old, and in-betweens! This is the first spring break the kids have spent with me as just Dad.  No wife, no girlfriend, just me.  I can’t say it’s ever gone so well, actually.  Amidst all the turmoil in my family and it’s outside forces, I have made the decision to make sure to do one thing [if I haven’t before];  Continuously let my kids know how much I care for them.

No, this does not mean buying my kids Jordan’s.  It does not mean taking them out of school to go have fun.  It doesn’t mean letting them do whatever they want.  Letting them eat tacos and chicken nuggets and fries with tons of ketchup every night. And it for damn sure doesn’t mean getting all their names and birthdates tatted on my arm. SMH.                    [Reference: Bad Parents ]

  • Caring for a child is teaching them right from wrong. (GASP! Yes, there is such a thing.)
  • Caring for a child is teaching them about pride in their personal appearance. Showing them how to groom themselves properly.
  • Caring for a child means stressing the importance of school and extra-curricular activities. The importance of timeliness.  Responsibility, and accountablity.
  • It means teaching values. Being a good example and role model.

It means sometimes being the bad guy.  Being the one they get an attitude with, because you don’t take it easy on them all the time.  My job is to raise them to be responsible adults.  Not to be kids for the rest of their lives. Productive members of society.

I’m trying ya’ll.

Last week was spring break, and even though I wanted the kids to have a good time… I’m still daddy.  And I’m certain my children have learned to expect that even though I’m a cool dad, overall, I’m here to guide them down the right path to whatever meaningful lives they’re headed towards.

Despite everything they’ve been through, and are still going through, my kids are the coolest.  They’re tough kids. They have a lot of me in them. Of course, they’re Rooks’!  And this year I really wanted to do something special with them.  While in Saudi, I scoped out some flights to major tourist locations.  Places where families could go to have a good time.  As March drew near, apparently the airlines had caught wind of when Spring Break was because prices had skyrocketed since I first had checked.  There was Los Angeles, Atlanta, Denver, Miami and Las Vegas.  Six round trip tickets to anywhere FROM everywhere is expensive. LoL… but, I made it happen.  And within the 9 days I had them we got to see Fort Worth to Oklahoma City by train. A wedding.  OKC to Las Vegas by plane. Well… VEGAS.  And we also got to see a man shooting up in a dumpster.

Learning experience lol.

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When I first got the kids, even though they are overly beautiful, every single one of them; they looked a mess.  Like they normally do when I pick them up.  It’s like… every time I see my babies I have to clean their current living situation off them.  They smell of smoke, their hair is rarely done, their clothes are dirty, and SOME attitudes need adjusting.  I try not to be too hard on them, because I know where they’re coming from. I honestly think they could take much better care of themselves.  They probably already do.  Who knows?

So, I took them to get new clothes, about a weeks worth, got the girls’ hair done, and bought everyone luggage for the flight.  They didn’t know we were going anywhere “special”. Which my oldest has expressed to me is the only time she’s thinks she needs to do anything to her hair. SMH… It’s not her fault.  They also didn’t know they were taking a flight.  So, they were unprepared.  That’s not their fault either. [MINE] And it’s that I have a knack for my kids to have fancy extravagent hairdo’s… quite the contrary, I think that’s a bit wasteful but jeezus, washed, cleaned moisterized and look like you did SOMETHING to it this WEEK.  Again… not their fault. I care, so I do it.  And will continue to.

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Later the first weekend, I showed them a video that I saw from the show Blackish on HULU. And it turned into our THING for the week. LoL

So… we were putting UVO on everything last week. I actually stole a bottle of sparkling cider from the wedding and wrote “UVO” on it so we could reenact the video. I’m a cool dad. I’m not going to show you guys that… but it was hilarious.  It made my oldest smile.  And that’s one of the brightest parts of my day. My oldest boy, decided to opt out of the event.  He does that sometimes.

However, when he decides to play along with us, his energy can’t be matched. And things really aren’t complete without him.  Not sure what his deal is sometimes… but that’s my boy.

It was their first flight, so I got an earful from a couple about how excited they were.  And an unusual suspect about how scared she was.  Jaidyn was in brace-for-crash-landing position during both takeoffs and landings.  I expected behavior like that from my oldest, Aniyah.  What a turn of events.

The flight was great.  Olivia had enough, so she ended up in my lap sleep.  Actually.. I was basically this little girls’ mattress all weekend! LoL

 

received_10160122123730511Even though some of the best times I’ve had with my kids have been the simple times, like laying in bed watching videos, or sitting in the livingroom reading on Sundays, or driving in the car singing songs… [Honestly, I have some musical kids.  Even though, just a few years ago we did an acapella rendition of “The Payback” by James Brown… This spring break we all sang “Gucci Gang” by Lil Pump together.  I believe the kids were, as they say “turnt”. I’m a cool dad! LMAO] it was something to be able to fly with them somewhere.  The entire point of the trip was that.  My oldest daughter expressed her disappointment with me for not taking her to Hong Kong and I realized that they may want to do some of this travel to.  I enjoyed it as a kid, so I wanted to pass it along to them.  So, hope they can get used to hitting up airports.

A big eventful trip like this will be unforgettable.  And I plan on facilitating many more. Some real cool stuff about being a parent is trying your best to do your all for them and them not appreciating it.  Something else that really isn’t their fault.  Sometimes you never know how much goes into an activity until you do it yourself.  Like… playing chess, solving physics equations or writing books.  Parenting is one of those things.  I’m sure I’m not the only one who has called my parents to apologize since becoming a parent.

We ate about $900 the whole week.  It’s a shame I don’t have any more food pics tan this.

 

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I’m summarizing a lot.  I normally don’t give a lot of details about my kiddos.  Guess I’m evolving a bit.  Not sure if it’s a good direction, but we’ll see.  It was just such a good time, I suppose I wanted to tell folks about it.

The arcades, the rides the kids were to scared to get on, the virtual reality fun, the walks, the bus rides, the glow in the dark masks, all the pools and hot tubs, and the zip lining we DIDNT GET TO DO (Sorry, Babygirl, I got you)… it really was a good time.

received_10160122123590511After spring break was over.  My son called me via my oldest daughter (I’m guessing no adults help them out with that) crying.  He simply said he missed me.  I was driving home from work and it broke my heart.

He wants to be with me, and it’s my fault he’s not. No matter how responsible I am, and how many provisions I make, no matter how much money I spend, I have to stay right here to protect my kids from people who are supposed to care for them. And I’ll stay at it until they’re where they need to be; here with me.

So, that’s what I’m doing.  Being present.  Bringing presents.  Being a responsible, role-model and confidante.  And though I make mistakes, I still think I’m a Cool dad.

 

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13 thoughts on “I’m a Cool Dad.

  1. Bethany says:

    You do so much for your children! You’re not just a “cool dad” you ARE an amazing father! Soon everything will be the way it needs to be and they will be with you. Keep doing what you are doing and what you need to do to care for them. They may have attitude towards you but they appreciate everything you’ve done. You have 5 beautiful children who love you. Great blog!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Robert Lovelle Rooks says:

      Thanks, Bethany. Since you’re one of the few who has been around me and my children and witnessed some of the B.S. I’ve had to put up with I really appreciate the sentiment. Thanks for reading, and commenting!

      Like

  2. Mary says:

    Great blog, Rooks you are a great father, role model and all the above. You do above and beyond to make sure your kids are taken care of and enjoy life not only with you but their own. I seen the smiles, laughs, convos, all priceless continue doing what your doing . Being a father and everything will fall in your favor. You and kids have a bond no one can break nor replace you no matter how they try. You are always daddy, daddy (olivia) or Fatherrrrrr ( aniyah) lol. To them all. Keep up the good work .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Robert Lovelle Rooks says:

      “Fatherrr” 😂🤣😂 I swear that just came from nowhere. I’ve been wondering what it’s all about, or do I just analyze things too much?
      If you noticed on the V.R. video though, when she was scared I turned back into “Daddy!” real quick though lol. Thanks for reading and commenting, Lupita!

      Like

  3. Climmie Rooks says:

    Parenting isn’t easy, it doesn’t come with instructions but any good responsible parent can do it. You will make mistakes simply because you are not perfect. What it does take is someone with a tiny bit of faith, courage, love and wiliness.

    You have five different attitudes to deal with this in itself is challenging. Knowing each of your kids mood swings is the key. You will get to the point where you know what to expect from each of them and yes sometimes they will do something odd like change on you and you are like “what just happen?”.

    Do with your kids what you can, be present in their lives is the most import thing. Let them know no matter what anyone tell them you will forever love them and you are DADDY period. You’re not just a sperm donor YOU ARE THEIR DADDY. Any man can be a father, but it takes someone VERY special to be a real DAD. Robert this is you. You were brought up with good moral and values. Iron your clothes, clean your room, do chores, practice good and daily hygiene, and most of all be respectful, so it is natural you want to instill the same in your children (which I cannot believe why everyone doesn’t practice this). They may give you attitude from this but you being the parent knows what is best for them.

    Don’t second guess yourself, you got this. I will not be easy, nothing worth while every is, but it is doable. Stay grounded in Faith, continue being on bending knees, tell your children on a daily basis you love them. continue showing them love and continue guiding them to positive things. Let them know they can come to you about anything good or bad. Be their friend but first and for most be their DAD.

    I know for a fact they (ALL OF THEM) love you, just study some of the pictures you have of you and them. They are counting on you!

    I am praying for all of you and I trust and believe that God is already answering my prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Robert Lovelle Rooks says:

      Thanks for always being a sound voice of reason, Mom. Well… at least always on my blogs lol.
      I think we all know that somewhere along the way the world has losts it’s fucking mind.

      From simple things like how I just used the “F” word in a public message to my mother which… I’m certain if The Internet existed in 1940 probably would have been looked down upon. To bigger things like… parents encouraging their children to change their gender! And being praised for it!
      Standards and values are becoming a thing of the past. And I don’t know how else to try and help but to raise my own kids with some.
      Thanks for reading and commenting, Mommy!

      Like

  4. Honeybeanz says:

    Loved this one, Rooks. I’ve missed these. I loved how you incorporated our fave movie, Mean Girls which automatically makes you a cool dad lol. But in all seriousness, one thing is this world that you’re naturally so good at is being an amazing yet cool father. Also, writing but…. Duhhh!! Your kids are so unique in their own ways and yet so like you. It’s a joy to watch you interact with them and them interact with each other. Something that I noticed when Mary and I came to rescue y’all was how they didn’t seem stressed or anything and neither did you. Also, it was really special to see how much they loved Mary and her kids. They are very well behaved to be in a group of 5. I was sincerely amazed. Oli is so smart and it always blows me away to hear her converse with others. She speaks better than my 5 year old lol. This is all a direct result of parenting. And what’s even more incredible is that given their situation, it could be soo much worse. So yes Rooks, your are a phenomenal, caring, generous, super intelligent and….. Cool Dad. Love you.

    Like

  5. Christine says:

    ..great blog Mr. Rooks.. I am very glad to see you guys enjoyed your vacation.. Any man can be a father but not all can take this lifetime responsibility. You are one of a kind, there aren’t many Dads like you who give so selflessly and I admire you for being such a great and cool dad. God bless you and your kids..

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Emily says:

    I read this a while ago, In honor of Father’s Day Tomorrow, I wanted to leave my thoughts. …I’d like to start by thanking you for sharing your children…I’d agree your evolving. I am elated that you FINALLY got to do this with them! Looks like y’all had an unforgettably action packed expierence that you and your children will share for a lifetime. You are the coolest dad! You’re that dad everybody wished they had growing up….
    The Dad you didn’t HAVE to be…everything in life is a choice. Any man can tell a girl everything she wants to hear, commit the physical act of creating a life, but not every man chooses to stay. A lot of men choose not to be a dad at all. One of the things that I’ve always admired most about you was your unfailing love for your children. The kind of love that is present in every picture, obvious in every moment, and written on every face. No photographer or photo shop or Snapchat.. can mimic or recreate what you capture with your children.

    No man who is willingly and unconditionally being a father, should ever be kept from their children. Or told they can only see their kids only a specified dates and times because mom and dad “have issues”. Children are not collateral, and they don’t belong to either of you…they belong to both of you. The mothers claim to a child because she gave birth to them, is bogus…some women pop kids out every other year having 8 kids and 9 baby daddy’s…so because she can Procreate…because she carries a baby..this makes her..a mom? And gives the justice system the right to be automatically bias to the mothers favor? Which , if you live in the south, basically is the father is disposable…except for his wallet…pay child support and see your children every other weekend, every other holiday, 2 weeks in the summer, on special occasions, and split the rest. So, children become possessions that are fought over, and dragged around forcing them the choose sides to whom they “love” or “want” more…what kind of sick concept is that? Is this really the best solution we can offer? The unfortunate reality is yes…I can’t speak for anyone but me, but No matter how I feel about the human being that created children with me, I have still…begged him just to talk to them. I know what it’s like to truly have children who are “fatherless”. the pain is real, not just for the parent… but for the children. In the end, they are the ones who suffer the consequences of our senseless, selfish problems.

    Children are children. They don’t understand “adult” problems and nor should they have to. All kids know, is their parents are the 2 people that they love most in this world. They should never have to choose. If people would realize the separation…if you are a “good” parent you can not like your ex all you want, but it is your duty, and your obligation, as the parent to not only communicate but to a reasonable extent facilitate a healthy relationship for both of you. No judges and courts necessary or required. Real parents sacrifice their lives for their children, they do whatever it takes, whenever it’s needed, they never stop, they never quit trying to make the best and right decisions out of the insurmountable love they have for their children.

    When I think of all you’ve sacrificed for your children, all the time spent away, all the times you did without so they could have, when you gave it all up because they needed it. I can’t help but think about the amazing parents you must have had and the people they must be to have created and instilled you this wonderfully brilliant man you’ve become. Just like you said, you didn’t always agree with them, they weren’t your friends…but they molded you and ultimately they cared about the person you became.

    It truly breaks my heart, that you have had to feel the immense sadness of being sperated from your children, for any amount of time, for any reason. Especially, after you so willingly gave up everything to make sure they were taken care of. If there is a man who is willing and able and doing the right thing to be with his children, he should never have to be told when and how and where he can see his children.

    Keep being that Dad, keep doing you. Your presence, making these memories together and continuing to instruct them, guide them and be the “bad guy” because even though they may not fully understand it now, one day they will reach back and remember how Daddy took them on their first of many plane ride, AND they will understand WHY that was such a BIG deal for 6 people…and all you did for them to make that happen. You have to know that change IS coming. That all of your hard work and your time wasted and your broken hearts are not in vain. The man up stairs is ALWAYS working ALL things together for good. Even when it may not seem like it at the time…his power and love transcends all things…I know I reference this one a lot…but when you sent this song to me, i latched on to it..hold on old soldier! He knows your heart, and he hears your prayers. He has already conquered the world. There is nothing that is too BIG, there is nothing that is impossible with God.

    Like

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