I suppose I should be grateful. I’m alive. I have the use of my limbs. I have five wonderful children. Going through their respective stages in life. My parents are still here, still teaching and guiding me, and I have at least one friend I can count on. I think… I’m free to walk outside, see the sunshine, or feel rain upon my skin. Or even enjoy what I believe to be the most underrated pleasure from above, and gaze at a calm and gray overcast sky. I have food to eat. I have an income, clothes to wear, running water, heat, air conditioning, electricity and a gosh-darn American passport.
These, and so many more things have I taken for granted. This year. This GOD-forsaken year has taught me to never, ever do so again.
A year. An entire year of trips, stumbles and road blocks…. was it just to pick me up and drop me off at the same place I was last year? It kinda feels that way. Or should I have learned something?
I’ve always said: an experience – no matter how bad, isn’t a waste as long as you’ve learned something valuable from it. But goodness gracious! Did all this have to happen? Am I THAT hard headed?
Today, in yet another long-for-no-reason year end blog I guess we’ll answer that question. In the past few year end blogs I have told you, the reader about a few things about each year’s respective 12 months:
- Me With (Relationships platonic and romantic and disastrous)
- Writing (books, blogs and general journey as a writer)
- A Summation of some sort, or aimless rant. Venting lol
I’ll do the same today.
I started my year off in Turkey.
I was in Turkey for yet another private sector contract. It was really a treat actually being somewhere that I have written about for the first time. In Invasion of the Most Sacred the character Yasmine Gülce lived in the same area of Adana. She was part of a well-to-do family who were pioneers in the bioenergy industry. If you haven’t read Invasion of the Most Sared… the hell is wrong with you? (^click that red link a few lines up and get on it!)
Exploring this small part of Turkey wasn’t the most glamorous affair, but nonetheless exciting for me. Mostly because, I sort of wasn’t supposed to be out there. Our company was under some scrutiny for some things which occurred before I got there and when I arrived I was under the ‘you can’t leave the base’ protocol. However, it wasn’t necessarily unsafe, nor was it forbidden by the American military police, local military police, local civilian police or local government. If it were, I wouldn’t have been able to get the required credentials and documentation to leave and enter the Base. In the nearly 4 months I spent there, I don’t think I spent a single whole day on that base. Being in Kuwait in 2012 spoiled me, and I just don’t see the need to be confined to a base if we’re not in a war zone. Sorry.
From haircuts, to souvenir’s to tailored shirts and peacoats to fancy restaurants, malls and raunchy adult entertainment, I had many opportunities for recreation in Turkey, instead of sitting in 8-man housing on base, after a fun 13 hour workday.
On my way out of the country, I treated myself to a short vacation (all my vacations are short) in Istanbul. This included a friktastic hotel called The Elysium by Sofitel. This place was macdaddy, and still affordable. Thanks booking.com! Never travel without it.
A trip to Hard Rock Cafe Istanbul to get a burger and shirts for my kids. A trip to the Blue Mosque, as shown in the movie “Argo”. And… an interesting search for karaoke and bowling. Karaoke because… karaoke. And bowling because I needed it for a photo op that my children inspired for my Turkey blog… which I have YET to post… damn.
I wanted to keep it as real as possible. As always. So this is a bowling alley in Istanbul, Turkey. I am eating an actual turkey sandwich from a nearby Subway, but for the life of me… something I’ve done many times in my life I couldn’t accomplish that night. Bowling 3 strikes in a row is usually never an issue for me. Especially after seven games! The most I got was a double. So no, I didn’t actually bowl a turkey. It’s embarrassing. LOL.
After a disturbing run in with a transvestite hooker catcalling me from a window during this excursion I ended my trip to Turkey and head to…
These additional 3 days turned a short 3 day vacation into a…. you guessed, it 6 day vacation! Lol still short.
It was January. Definitely not the time to visit Scandinavia. For as cold was it is there, it didn’t seem like they offered off-season prices. Though the simple thought of the reason why I was there still rubs me the wrong way, I can never hide from my love for Europe. Especially an entire country which is just a smaller, more generic version of Germany, my second home. No offense. But let’s be real…. it is. But that’s OK! Other than the fact that I couldn’t find a decent scnhitzel there I enjoyed it. And I was able to finally get pork again, which was a treat after being in Turkey for months. I was of course able to visit Hard Rock Café Copenhagen. Burger and shirts for the kids, as always. It’s not missed on me that I’d much rather take my kids all these places, but let’s face it, there aren’t too many people (who aren’t rich) who can take 6 plane tickets to the head and not be hurting. I do what I can.
I found myself some karaoke there of course, and enjoyed taking a train ride. Something I miss from my childhood growing up in Germany. I didn’t have too much time to get to know the small historical footprint which is Denmark, because honestly. I was on a premature mission to get home. But I am glad I got that stamp in my passport (which is identical to that of The Netherlands… wonder if that’s symbolic of something in my life lol) to look at.
Wasn’t sure if I should put this here. I’ve been here before for one, plus I have covered the trip in a blog of its own, plus it will be covered again in the writing portion of the blog. But screw it! Most of you are just here to scroll past all this good stuff to see who I’ve fucked or whom has fucked me [rather] this year, so here goes!
The morning after my arrival I was listening to some gangster rap in my teeny tiny executive apartment in Pasay, Manila, Philippines. Getting ready to go check out the SMX convention center.
However, I did take an ENTIRE DAY and prepare something for you to enjoy. If you have NO LIFE, I’ve complied all the videos I made at the fair and made them into one 52 minute video complete with music, credits… all that. LoL. Here it is.
If you want to, check out The Trip. The Night. The ‘Fair’. for all the details of the trip! It was more of a business trip. I had zero fun outside of the dealings of the book fair. Aside from a little trim and some great food: But I did enjoy a (few) fantastic plate(s) of vegetable fried rice, some pandesal and met my new girlfriend. Her name is “Pancake House”. I’ll tell you all about her in the next section.
As you all should know, food is my jam. It’s not just something to keep me alive.
It’s something I find my pleasure in. However, due to my darling/evil eleven year old daughter Jaidyn and even more evil documentaries such as What The Health and Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead I have cut meat out of my diet. Being a vegetarian for nearly six months now, I have noticed my diet diminish in some ways, but flourish in others. I want to do it for a year, and see how I feel about it. Here are some pictures of my culinary explorations this year lol. Click for descriptions. It should actually work this year. LoL
Now I of course got down in the kitchen myself. Check me out.
Yes. I can do it too! I love food. Love to cook it, love to shop for it, love for it to be served me and most of all… I love to eat it. Food is life, dammit.
Me With 💏💑💔👪👤🙍🙋👌
Things have happened this year to force me to stick to being positive, but always keep in mind the negative. Meaning… strive for positive, be the better person, rise above bullshit but at the same time, don’t forget evil lurks, don’t forget you can’t trust everyone, and there’s always someone going through something tens times worse than you. Be considerate. Someone else’s struggle might not be understood by you… but it’s a struggle nonetheless, and it deserves empathy, if not, your respect at least.
So with that being said, I would love to start with the few connections which are still positive from this year. Hopefully it stays this way, while I continually work on making those relationships which have fallen out, better again. I hate seasons… such a waste of time.
Robert Lee Rooks. Still taking me to school at 36 years old. We haven’t had the sane relationship as we used to. Funny, how the same thing that tore us apart is kind of what brought us back together. Or at least me back to him. I’ve written about my father before but I’m afraid my words are usually taken as disrespectful. So, without going into too much detail I will say I owe you and Mommy everything. So, give me just a little time. Im not saying we’ll never disagree, or that I’m not still myself, but…. I get the lesson, now I would like to make it right.
BTW, Thanks for inviting my vegetarian ass to one of the best Brazilian steak houses on earth. If my willpower is ever in question, just reference this picture. Love you, Dad.
Climmie E. Rooks (aka “Tiny” aka “The Warden”)
Mommy. We haven’t had selfies in the past year end blogs. Luckily my brother and I took the T-Lady out for mother’s day this year and I snapped a few photos and videos. It was a good time. Apparently, finding a quality German meal in Texas isn’t as easy as it used to be. And even though we are not German (Well, my brother is) we are some of the best judges of authentic German cuisine. My family has collectively spent about 48 years in Germany.
Mommy enjoyed herself. For the longest, Mom’s only wish out of life was for our family to be more of a closeknit family. In-particular, for her two Robert’s to speak more often and be more cordial, loving and all that jazz. This year, the relationship between my father and I has hit two polarizing ends, and I’m sure Mom is pleased where it is now. And if there is nothing else my Father and I agree on is that we want Climmie Rooks to be pleased.
As she continues to navigate her way through retired life with my Dad, and her entreprenural spirit I see she is going to be the same person now and in the future as she always was. That’s one of the most comforting facts in my life.
Connie and Rodney
All my life, I’ve been under the impression that I have four sisters and two brothers. However, as far as this nuclear Rooks family, It’s just Connie, Rodney and I. She would rather be called Constance, and he Lamonte. But, since they still call me PJ (don’t ask) they will always be Connie and Rodney. The other two kids from my Mother and Father. My brother and my sister. If I am to speak of being bullied or teased by my siblings when I was a kid, these are the two I’m speaking of. I was known for at least the first 16 years of my life in certain places as either “Rodney’s Little Brother” or “Constance’s Little Brother.” Since adults, and after knowing what more closeknit families are like, I realize and admit we are not it. We (and by “we” I mean either Connie and myself, or Rodney and myself) have gone months on top of months without speaking. Years without seeing one another. However, when we do, it’s like we haven’t spent a day apart. I still smack my sister on her ass when I see her. And… I do the same to my brother. We joke, we laugh and within the same day we have at least argued about one thing. Perfectly normal, perfectly us. We have had our differecnces over the years. Sometimes I look at my sister and realize I don’t even know who she is. Not because we didn’t grow up with one another, but because as an adult… I don’t know whats on her mind. How she really feels about me and other things that I feel I’d know if we were closer. Rodney on the other hand… when I look at him it seems there isn’t much mystery. He is who he is. He’s always been that way. He used to go to war for me when I was a defenseless little shit, and I’m sure he would still today. Love you two. Maybe we could talk a little more. Time. It’s moving along, ya know?
We have known each other for a long time. Almost eight years now. For some reason she likes who I am. Like, unconditionally. It’s so weird to be able to say that. Because unconditional isn’t a word that I get to use often with people. Since I’ve known her, she’s always been there. You know people who say “You can come over anytime.” or “Call me anytime” or “If you need anythiong, call me.”? Well, she actually means it when she says it to me. She’s proven it time and time again. We are truly friends now because in my opinion a friend isn’t truly a friend until that friendship continues after a real falling out. And we had that falling out this year.
But we are still here. Still friends. And if I were to need someone for something, outside of family, I definitely would contact her. And she knows she can do the same with me. When you see me talking about the 1 or 2 friends I have. She is most likely the one I’m talking about, and the other is most likely imaginary.
Christine and I have known one another for three years now. The last time I saw her was in 2015 before I left The UAE. She has since left Abu Dhabi and gone back to The Philippines. I applaud her for her decision even though things are hard. I wish I could be like her. She showed up at the Manila book fair this year with her mother and brother to help me out. I honestly – thanks to them and a few others – didn’t have to do this thing by myself. She’s proven over and over to be a good friend. Miss na kita, Tin!
Cliff has been my homeboy for a long time. We met in 2010 and he was a part of my car club DIBM until I stopped being active in 2014. [We will be back] Cliff and I have already been through our falling out. Last year. We didn’t speak for the longest. The entire time I was in Turkey and immediately after I came back home in February.
One day I was headed from Waco back up to DFW to spend some time with my kids. I decided to stop for gas in West and I spotted him and his big ole’ redneck truck on the side of the corner store. For those of you who know how big Texas is, this is a phenominal coincidence. It was a little weird at first, but at the end of the conversation we made sure we had each others contact informartion and started talking again. In the picture, above with Mary, that’s at my house warming get-together three months later, and the picture to the left is at the local skating ring just three months ago. It’s nice to have a friendship that can last through turbulent times. That’s the only kind of friendship actually.
Farrah. I’m afraid her and I will never be out of contact. We love each other in some type of way and it’s pretty unorthodox, because I’m quite sure we don’t like each other! But I know if she ever needs anything and I can facilitate, I’ll be there for her. As I’m sure I mentioned last year, she’s a mess. She was a mess before I met her, and I didn’t really help much with that. Not that I was trying to screw with her head, but things just didn’t go well. As friends or lovers. All in all, I’m sure she knows I don’t mean her any harm. I was just talking to her today actually and she bugs the shit out of me, so our relationship is just fine. We had our good times this year and we’ve had our bad. Thinking from her side of things, how could we have just been about to bring a baby into this world a few months ago, and now you’re in love with someone else? I get it. Even though we were never actually together, that doesn’t change the feelings. So, that’s her excuse for being such a nutbag, and I’ll give her that. She was just trying to do the right thing and be a good woman, and I was just looking for my 100%. I’m sure she’s laughing at me right now, because that turned out to be such a slap in the face. Maybe beneath all the banter, hi’s and bye’s and “how are you’s” she’s hating me. Wondering why it wasn’t her that I took to Istanbul, or to Nepal, or to Copenhagen. Why it wasn’t her whom I decided to ACTUALLY be with, and let everyone know about and make serious plans with. Perhaps we both wonder it. However, relationships sometimes can’t move further past a certain point. I think we’ve all been there.
And it’s a good question. Why not? The woman who threw you your first bday party? The woman who used her OWN money to fly to Vegas to see you… TWICE? The one who most certainly would’ve followed you anywhere if you’d asked? “I don’t know” is such a flacid answer, but I really don’t. So yeah, I’m sorry. I hope I’m not wrong for wanting to salvage the little good that’s between and above us now.
Anja. I met this sweet lady on my trip to Denmark. She was seeing my ex-girlfriends’ dad at the time. She immediately took to me (and I to her) and acted as my proud tour-guide around the small, rural area of Denmark. She was a happy, lite person who had a The-More-The-Merrier attitude.
Immediately after my departure from Denmark, Anja linked up with me on Facebook and even though both relationships which linked us together are now over, we have managed to keep in contact. She’s a rather inspirational person I’ve found out and I’m overall glad I met her.
Bethany and I met this summer when I first moved to town. She is the sweetest thing and she helped me a lot with my move and acclaimation to town, but I am completely enamored with her daughter LoL. Not taking away from our relationship. But whenever we talk she knows to make sure to update me about that little girl.
When it came time for me to move abruptly for the second time this year, Bethany really stepped up. She did whatever she could to help facilitate that emergency situation and I’ll always be grateful to her for that. I think her selflessness is something that deserves mentioning because she did it without expecting, and quite frankly without ever getting anything back from me with the exception of a little gas money every once in a while. Thank you, Bethany! For everything!
A Coworker and road-dog in Turkey. We still talk frequently now. You know I always end up hanging out with people like myself everywhere I go. I can’t say which one of us acts a bigger fool.
This picture was taken at one of our breakfast excurions at The Sheraton. I was playing the piano for the waitstaff.
Jenna and I met online during the #100DaysOfFilipina campaign. She took a special interest in the book selfies and the novel itself. She sent me about 23 initially from herself, her family, friends and generally from people around her neighborhood and province.
Jenna, her three beautiful daughters and a friend made it up to Pasay for the fair twice during the week to help me out, keep me company and bring me some vegetable caldareta! We spoke about the dish several times before I got to The Philippines. After the concept of simply making the dish as it was with no meat finally sunk she said she would try her best. It was great, and I really appreciate her and her daughters for their interest and help. Months after the show her youngest daughter sent me some book selfies with the paperback copy of the book they left the fair with. She is so cute! Thanks again girls! Glad to meet you and I’m glad we’re on a path to friendship now!
Still waiting on that review BTW, Jenna! 😉
My ex-wife, My divorce.
After finding out my children were moved from place to place this and last year, and not being completely read into it (even though I was sending her money) I told her face-to-face that I would no longer be sending her money. No more cash. However, whenever she needed anything for the kids, to let me know and I would get it for her. I could go on walmart.com, order everything site-to-store and she could pick it up. No problem. She stormed off and the next thing I know, I’m being sued by her for child support! LoL. She even had the nerve to put my youngest sons name on the child support order even though we knew he’d be living with me.
While the kids were with me [my five plus the beautiful little girl who spends summers with us, my ex wife’s best friends daughter] I didn’t ask her for anything. Didn’t NEED anything. Whatever I bought my kids I bought for her. Clothes, bicycle, food, hair care, whatever. I always wondered since this first letter hit my mailbox, or when I was officially served by Bell Country sheriff’s at my house; why someone who is supposedly newly married, in at least a two income home, and was started off with furniture, a place, two paid off vehicles appliances, etc… would be putting me on child support. Furthermore, if she needed child support, why do you feel good enough about your situation to care for someone elses kid throughout the summer? If you need child support, how is it I can tell you I will get whatever the kids need, but are obviously too good to email me once a month with a list of things the kids need so I can get them? She wanted the divorce for free, her spoils, the kids AND my money… HER way. All the while her and her new guy find different ways to disrespect me any chance they get. ///
Just a few months ago, there was a text message argument between me and the new happy couple… probably about the third I had lowered myself to enter into. It all began because after being made aware that I knew she manipulated my oldest son out of living with me, she copped an atittude the day after being embarrassed in court she sent me a text demanding that I come unenroll my oldest son from his current school and enroll him in the one in my city. This is October 4th! Yet another agreement breached… all due to her bruised ego. This spiralled into this text argument I speak of, next thing I know I’m getting text from Thugnificent.
After this argument continues I realize this guy REALLY THINKS he TOOK something from me. He really thinks I wanted this woman… and he thinks that he is like… a Dad now! LoL. My ex-wife has been suckling money from me, her family, and this new guy for years. If she really wanted to divorce me and get away from me for so long… why didn’t she? I managed to arrange the divorce in 2016 myself… over the phone for $300… Paperwork and filing services for another $275. Absentee filing while I was in Iraq for another $300. ALL my money. Not much, but all mine. Couple thousand more I gave her to find a rental house of her liking. Couple thousand more because she cant get a house packed up in 5 weeks with herself, her boyfriend and 4 able-bodied kids… I had to come home and do that as well. Help her get moved into her new place. Yet this dude is texting me as if HE TOOK her! Dude, I practically gave her to you lol. They’ve been seeing each other for at least 2 years before I knew about him. He got her number while he was changing the brakes on my truck at Midas or Just Brakes or whatever lol. News Flash… In order for you to have taken her from me, I would have had to want to keep her in the first place. So, there will be no more arguing with these two. It’s like arguing with my kids. Not necessary. It’s obvious who the adult is in the situation. They don’t even have their own place, and they’re both driving around the two cars I gave them. I got 7 kids ya’ll! A few days later, she writes to tell me “I will talk to Reilend and let him know that he has to wait until the next semester if he still wants to move then”
I CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP
///On top of that, she refused to tell me where her and the kids live. She claims its because I don’t give her money, however the four months while I was away in Turkey sending her money she didn’t tell me about the three or four times she moved then either.
The fooling around with where kids are going to stay throughout the year, the showing up late to pick ups and drop offs throughout the year… etc, it’s gotten really old, ya know?
It’s really sad. One would think how things have gone for her she would be grateful and not cause so many problems. I’m hoping at some point she will get with the program.
Not really too much else to say about that. Other than I’m seriously worried about my kiddos. Not only won’t the ex still tell me where my children live, if you could see and speak to the person she chose to settle my kids with you’d be concerned as well. But hey…. c’est la vie.
Alright, so what did I learn from this? What positive can I take from it? Well, this isn’t the easiest thing to do in this situation. But… I suppose I can use it as a challenge. Knowing that perhaps things won’t improve with these two may mean that I’ll forever need to be the leader in these dealings. The one who is setting the good example. Sort of a role model. That will attribute to my personal growth and perhaps theirs. Ultimately, anyone looking to be shady, underhanded, or negative in any way in this small cirlce which is my family will ultimately just be hurting the children. Up til now, all this has just been annoying to me. A bothersome nuisance. But who really suffers when the adults can’t cooperate? I need to try my best to continue to not lower myself to any type of bickering, and just do what I can to continue to be the best dad I can be.
As far as what I’ve learned? Selfishness has no bounds.
On December 12th I wrote my ex-wife asking if Reilend, would still be coming to live with me seeing as how that was what we decided on when she changed her mind after the child support court debacle. On The 23rd of December she finally answered me [keep in mind she’s always hinting that I never want to speak to my children because I don’t go through her… but how am I supposed to do that when it takes you nearly 2 weeks to respond to me on a simple question?) saying Reilend was fine there with her and he no longer wants to move though she gave him the option. Then she goes on to say my son Jaixon who has been living with me the entire school year claims he doesn’t want to go back to “Mary’s”.
This is a dead giveaway that she is doing what she always does. Lying. First of all, my son knows that that is OUR place. Mary wasn’t there when we moved in and is only there because I hired her as a nanny the week I left for work. Paid. Nanny. Ansley likes to identify it as such because she is mad because I’m not there. She claims it wasn’t part of “the plan” that I leave the coutry for work. So she is taking it upon herself to just take my son and claim that he requests to leave. I know this isnt true. My son skyped me [he skypes me every day when he is home] crying because his mother told him over THANKSGIVING break that she wasnt going to be returning him over the winter solstice. My son has the master bedroom at our home. His own bathroom. A clean home. He and My nanny send me pictures all the time of them doing arts and crafts or hanging out watching T.V. together. She is there FOR HIM. It’s what she does day in and day out. She has nothing but time FOR HIM. And more than any other time while gone for work, I receive daily updates, pictures and videos from her regarding my son. Something my ex-wife never did even though she had nothing other to do than to be a stay at home mom. Which just further shows she never really cared about cultivating my relationship with the kids.
My son is happy where he is. I realized two things: I really don’t think she can stand the idea of the kids being happy with me. Plain and simple. And though I try to stick to facts in my blog, a bit more of my opinion is, she’s super jealous that I have the ability to HIRE and PAY a nanny to come to MY HOME [not my spouses, or spouses brothers home] to do this job for me. Two, every time I’m away for work, my ex wife pulls shit like this. And its obvious that one thing she IS capable of self-starting on is causing trouble. She loves to try and bait me into arguments and making rash decisions by making her snide remarks and terrible executive decisions regarding our children but the fact is… she’s miserable. A terrible role model for my kids. And just all-around a sub-standard mother. She even chastised me for the way I spoke to my daughter and claim I’m a bad influence because my 13 year old daughter read one my blogs. My daughter is 13 years old! Lives with her mother. And every time I check her phone and or social media there are high levels of inappropriateness coming from her. Why isn’t her mother thwarting this? Why is it a 13 year old has unfettered access to the internet? My ex wife tries her best to make it seem like I’m this horrible Dad who doesn’t care about the kids when in fact the roles are completely opposite. She treats parenthood as a popularity contest. For obvious reasons. She would love nothing more than to make sure none of the kids like me and would rather spend no time with me. Not once has she ASKED Jaixon if he wants to spend a weekend with her. Or if he wants to spend thanksgiving or christmas breaks with her. She just takes him. As if there’s no one else who may want to spend time with him, like his grandparents, or aunts and uncles [on my side of the family of coruose, who live less than 20 miles away… they don’t get that option] However, when it comes to me, she “doesn’t want to force the kids to go”. 100% hypocritical and once again… she’s hurting no one but the kids.
When she pulled this nonsense [which I knew she would] I considered omitting this entire section of the blog. I figured she would use it as another reason to do the dumb, wrong, disrespectful and underhanded things she always does. But the fact is… blog or no blog, she’s going to be this shady character. Always has been. So screw it. She wants to grant a 13 year old unlimited access to the most messed up place on the planet (The Internet) then at least heres one place she can come to get some truth. Because it most likely isn’t going to come from her mother unless she has something to gain from it. I love my kids. Everyone knows this. But most importantly, THEY know it. And they love me. Maybe they won’t completely understand and appreciate everything that’s going on until they’re grown and in college, or in the work force or parents themselves… But I’ve realised that the fussing and fighting over the kids… it’s not something that benefits them. If she wants to pull this nonsense that she’s been pulling, I’m not going to try and stop her (unless it literally becomes unsafe for the kids) but unfortunately, being a bad influence isn’t illegal. Lying on your children for your own benefit isn’t neccessarily illegal. Trying to control your ex-husbands lifestyle, career choices or household isn’t illegal. Putting the kids in a much worse situation and environment than they need to be in isn’t illegal. It’s just stupid. And selfish. She may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but she knows at those things. And halfway through her life, if that’s who she chooses to be I’m super glad I divorced and got away from her; I feel really sorry for her, those around her and most importantly my kids. I plan on continuing to work to provide for them the best way I can, and hopefully the next time they make the decision to live with me, it won’t be combatted by their mother or ayone else like it was this year. Who knows? Maybe she’ll look at Jaixon sometime during Christmas or New Years and realize he isn’t just HER son. Maybe she’ll realize he isn’t just something to use to run back to the attorney general to say “Here! Here is the change you were looking for last year! Now lets get me child support, food stamps and medical!” LoL. Here’s for hoping, right? And though I know the kids are the closest things in her life she can claim as ‘acheivements’ (which is very sad) she should really stop living as though THEY need HER. When really, it’s the other way around. How does one go from pushing a child out of their body, to looking at that baby and treating them as if they’re a big walking-talking chess peice on a checkered board to use at your whim to win a game? I’ll never understand it. Inshallah, she’ll start to WORK TOGETHER with me, when it comes to raising these kids… instead of trying to do… WHATEVER it is she’s been doing.
Alright. Dead Horse Beaten. Moving on.
Susie Brag Frederiksen, The Danish Baker
When I first met Susie, she told me after she read one of my Year End Blogs to me that she didn’t want to end up just being yet another woman talked about in my annual publication. FAIL.
If you read last year, you’d know I had already had some issues with this one. If you’ve heard me talk about an ex-girlfriend this year, this is whom I was referring to. I have only had one girlfriend since this time last year. Been in love with one person. This one. It feels, even though this relationship ended in disaster, it’s somewhat good to be able to say that.
I’ve heard Russ say “Hurt People, hurt people.” That is exactly what happened to me, the innocent bystander here in this fucking trainwreck of a relaitonship. Now, again, if you read last year you would probably ask “Why did you stay with her if she was already lying and cheating and whatnot?” Fantastic question. God, that’s a fantastic question. And “because I loved her” really only equates to “I was stupid” in hindsight. So, I guess that’s the appropriate answer. Furthermore, why would I continue to spend time, money and effort on a person like this? An unstable creature and obviously conflicted woman? Is it because she has a fat ass? Was it because she was sitting on gold? Incredible mouth? Great dancer? I would like to think I wasn’t that shallow? How easy would it be for you to give up on what you thought was the man or woman of you dreams? Especially when she appears sincerely apologetic and promises you the world?
So, that’s how she ended up with me in the states. And even though she said ALL THAT, and I really felt she meant it.. I mean… she said she even loves it when I fart! That’s…. that’s gangster shit. I fart a lot. Real farts. Not them bitch farts, I have real man farts. It’s not a game over here. My flatulence game is on point. If I had my own record label, it would be called Major Gas Productions LLC.
But yeah… I brought her here, to the states. To begin this life she had promised me. The life I felt I wanted. The life I knew I wanted. And with the girl I knew I wanted it with. I knew of this girl for two years. We spoke on and off but I was always seeing someone and she was with the same guy. After getting to know her, the outlook I had on her and her ability to be faithful to him wasnt even true either. Matter of fact, I’m not sure what was true. In between all the good there was so much bad. And it all came from her. Though she claimed to be leaving her ex-boyfriend alone, he still contacted her and me. One day while we were at the Waffle House he was texting me on WhatsApp, telling me she was still contacting him. Standing by my woman like I felt I should, I told him that was impossible. She was not in Denmark… not in Turkey, but in America. TEXAS. MY HOME! With me! It was over, give it up bruh. After he persisted, and was seemingly leading to warning me of impending proof of my womans continued transgressions I looked to her while finishing my hashbrowns and bacon and asked her if there was any validity to the accusations. And for the umteenth time she lied to my face. Satisfied with what I thought was the truth… I was again gut punched by this dynamic duo . He text me a screenshot of a tittylating (yes, I did that on purpose) strip tease video she had sent me for Valentines day a week before I flew her to the states. This video was supposed to be just for me, And by strip tease I mean by the end of the video she was butt-fucking-ass naked. This would be OK if she were just sending it to me… her boyfriend. Her “future”. The one she wanted to be with, and not for the guy she said she wouldn’t contact anymore.
All the while, I had introduced the girl to my parents, my kids, Connie and Rodney. I mean… I was in it. I mean, why go from Denmark, to Turkey, to the US, just to fuck someone over? I really don’t get it.
I wanted to get this all off my chest because I’m tired of hating her. And no, I don’t/didn’t hate her because she broke my little heart into a billion fucking peices and scattered them across the world wide web, and jet stream and whatever field she’s taking all these god-awful gardening photos from. But because she claimed to have loved my children.
And treated the entire situation so frivolously. While she’s undoubtedly duping some other idiot at this moment, there are five little kids who still ask about her from time to time. THAT is what makes me upset. She could’ve had her fun without bringing them into it.
Hell, I even taught this bitch how to make the most awesome tacos!
AND I missed out on my chance to meet Scarlet Johansen for this…. ugh. BREATHE.
Seriously, she didn’t appreciate any of it. So, after some unfortunate events back home I decided to break up with her and send her home. After she got back, she was mad, but she really had no reason to be. I mean how long did I have to be a sucker, trying to “make it work” while she committed violation after violation. Of all kinds. Since then I’ve had people ask me, “well what did she do?” And I’ve told them all, it would be easier to ask me what didn’t she do.
But even after that, I gave the thought of us another chance. She told me some things, and I try to be rational and I was trying to not be my regular old self and give up on her so easily like I normally do. ESPECIALLY since she was the only woman I had ever introduced to my children as a girlfriend or lover. And one of the few women I had introduced them to period! I only wanted to do this ONCE! On into late April she sends me another video…
By this time I’m guessing I shouldn’t believe anything she says at all. Maybe this entire thing was a game. I feel like once again I was living something I’d written and published in a novel. Percy James is duped by a beautiful woman with an accent and it was all some plot from the beginning. However, Percy ended up with an even MORE beautiful woman who was ACTUALLY honest and had a SEXIER accent (and an income), but I don’t see THAT shit happening!
So yea, everybody plays the fool sometimes. And I wanted to get at least a 5th of what I’ve been feeling about this yamp for the majority of this year off my chest. Because in 2018 I don’t plan on bringing her up any more. For any reason. I’m going to start eating avocado and almonds again. I’m going to stop growling at women named “Susie”, I’m going to continue to listen to Alina Baraz, stop rolling my eyes whenever I herar anything about Denmark and I will definitely not allow what this girl did ruin my faith in me someday getting what I feel I should have.
Thanks for the lessons, Susie. I hope whatever is going on in that distant soul of yours is remedied before you end up hurting someone who is more crazy than that last dude you hurt who posted all those naked pictures of you on the internet.
[SN I honestly think this girl is trying to get internet famous. She sends so many people nude photos. While claiming to be such a good woman. I have so many nude photos and videos of this woman that she and we took (dating all the way into late June of 2017) that I could easily make a 3 hour movie of it all. I’m not even exaggerating]
At some point you have to grow up, Ms. Frederiksen. And start being who you claim you are. And not just apologizing… but making things right. You’ve hurt people. You think you can just turn away from it forever?
Alright, so what did I learn from this? What positive can I take from it? Damn, this isn’t any easier than the last. I suppose it can be positive in the perception in this situation. I know of people who have wasted years on people who meant no good in a relationship. I knew of Susie for over 2 years, but we were only “together” for about 5 months. In the grand scheme of things, I can look at that as a positive. I only wasted 5 months. Not 5 years or more. As far as what I’ve learned… I don’t know, “never trust a big butt and a smile”? I don’t know lol. It’s not like I can completely steer clear of Scandanavian women, now can I?
Welp! That’s enough of that. And if THAT wasn’t bad enough, allow me to introduce you to SABRINA!
Sabrina, The Nightmare.
Short intro, this person is… gosh, just a real piece of shit. I mean, work. I think if you add up every bad thing I’ve done in my gotdamn fucking life, it wouldn’t come close to the amount of messed up shit this pathetic, lying, abusive, psychotic, nympho, school teacher did to me in a mere 2 months.
This chick is a new kind of asshole. She basically used my book (FILIPINA) as a means to get what SHE wanted out of ME. Which was, my life. Man, fuck this. I’m going to make a quick video, I’m not typing all this shit out. Nope!
You can read more about this model citizen in my previous blog The Sob Stories Women Tell Men. It’s pretty sad. The entire idea was great. The house was an adequate size for all of us. Both of us could’ve easily benefited from the arrangment we agreed on. Our children got along well enough. With a little adjusting of her parenting eventually the entire group of us would’ve been a well-oiled machine. But alas, it wasn’t in their mothers interest to actually go through with the plan we both agreed upon, yet for her to get what she wanted ultimately, and if she didn’t, everyone had to suffer. After everything went down and I finally got moved out she want ahead and tried to turn more of my friends against me and also tried to get my son taken from me. It was… quite an experience, to see how someone could be so rotten. But, it’s not the first time I’ve seen a “mother” show a complete lack of care for her children when it came to them or their desires.
I’m really sorry to all 7 of our kids for bringing it all together, without knowing what Sabrina was really up to. They didn’t deserve to have to go through that. But, I can atleast say that I held my end up. And while it lasted, it was fun. And as genuine as I tried to make it.
I CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP!
Alright, so what did I learn from this? What positive can I take from it? Well everyone seems to think I just ran, skipped and jumped into this situation without any thought whatsoever. I can’t blame folks for thinking that and at times I wondered why DID I put so much thought into it, but simply not listen to those thoughts. Listen to your gut, Rooks! Sometimes it’s just telling you, you have gas, other times it’s telling you that someone is a gotdamn fucking psycho and you need to distance yourself! I just wish it were more obvious, ya know? But yea…. I have learned that just because someone has kids, who have clothes, food, and a place to stay, doesn’t mean they have parents who really give a shit about them. Which…. is a really hard theory to grasp. I’ve also learned that people will say and do ANYTHING to get what they want. Before, I thought I couldn’t put anything past most people… but really, you can’t put anything past anyone.
Alright! I’m done! There’s the negative. I don’t have much hope for any of those seasons to get better… but there’s hope for anything, right? I mean, there’s absolutely no need for me to ever speak to Sabrina again, I mean… the bitch stole my fucking netflix account. Who does that? The Baker, well… I can’t lie I have feelings for her. Mostly hatred, but that will soon fizzle out too. I’ve always said you can’t hate someone without having feelings for them. Hate, itself is a feeling, which means to some degree, you care. It sucks. But, if anything I said and did with her this year was real… how could I not all of a sudden? That’s her realm… ya know, the lying and shit. And the ex wife…. We have to be involved. My oldest daughter is spiralling down a dark road of “boyfriends”, foul language, need-for-acceptance and… GOD KNOWS what else. And from what I see, my ex wife is doing a TERRIBLE job of managing it. My oldest daughter is 13… there’s no reason I should be seeing what I see on her social media…. she actually, really shouldn’t even have social media. For a 13 year old… that’s like sending them to a nightclub… alone… in Detroit. But hey… that’s her “mom”. As long as she’s exhibiting such a craptastic form of parenthood, we will most likely not get along. But then again, I can’t expect much, seeing as how she was allowed to ‘grow up’.
There, foreal, I’m done From now on… you won’t see me talking about any of this negative shit online or anywhere else for that matter. You have my word. If I break it… you have my permission to thump me on the forehead. I HATE being thumped on the forehead.
(BTW, I’m sorry for writing this blog, Mommy… I know you told me not to. Don’t be mad. I’m done. Promise. 🙂 )
Rooks, The Writer: 📚✒📖✏💻📗📑📘📝
Hello. I know it seems I’ve gone from excited about travel, in love with food, to somber about a terrible relationship, to flat out angry about a supposed agreement with a fellow, parent, adult and human being. Well, that’s because I have. Just, over the year it seemed a bit more natural and not as abrupt.
But here, where I do my thing. The pad, paper, pen and keyboard; I’m what I always wished to be. Content. I don’t wish to be happy. I don’t wish to have a perfect life. I want to be content. Contentment is realistic. It can endure through being happy, being sad, angry, loved, and unloved. It’s a place that’s always there to comfort you when the extremes come and go.
Last year, I was trying to enter into a Godly divorce. Being fair with the ex wife. Giving her all I could. Paying for the divorce. Being fair with the kids and not bickering over them. All I took, was my motorcycle, my phone/tablet and my XBOX. I was like a 22 year old leaving college or the military lol. My goal was to rebuild my life to have all the things I had given her (which took over 12 years to accumulate) and write and publish this book. FILIPINA.
As I wrote in the FROM THE AUTHOR section of the novel, I have had this idea for some time. I mean… so many Filipino’s have told me their stories over the years. It seemed irresponsible not to write it! And after doing some thinking, I felt I could acheive the goal of writing, publishing and releasing it IN The Philippines, at it’s largest annual book fair. When I first came up with the idea, it seemed like I had enough time. Hell, it was 15 months! How could I not! But damn, if I didn’t just barely make it. It seemed the very universe tried it’s best to keep me from getting it done. And hell, maybe I shouldn’t have completed it. Maybe I should’ve waited a year. Of all the things I lost because of it. And people I no longer speak to… lol. My GOD, if people could just show their true colors from the beginning. Right? Anywho… It’s done. I did it. And I thank GOD and my kids for helping. During the summer, even though I was thoroughly involved with all SIX of them, they did give me time to write during the dayitme. I had enough things at home to keep them occupied safely, plus they’re great kids. Sometimes, Aniyah and Jaidyn would come into my room and ask how things were going. Bring me drinks and read parts that I allowed them to. I love those girls so much.
And even though, she’s a supreme evil cunt, part of Sabrina’s OTHER personality was an involved, and supportive girl. I believe this is who she USED to be before WHATEVER happened to her happened. The FILIPINA cake was a sweet gesture. 😉
I am currently working to make FILIPINA available in more places than any of my other books. It’s received some pretty damn good reviews, and even better feedback in-person. Once they understand what the book is about, and read it they are not only surprised but happy to see someone who isn’t from there understands at least a little. And thought enough to share the stories I have.
My blog, THE REALEST OF THE REALIST’S , has been mostly inactive this year due to the writing and the B.S.,. I think I published like 6 blogs not including this one.
As you can see, in 2015, I got just over 50,000 views and posted only 8 new blogs. In 2016, I got 99,105 views and posted 27 blogs by posting every other Sunday. Again, this year I only posted 6 blogs and I’ll probably only get around shy of 60,000 views by the time this year is over (last screenshot from 24thDEC2017 so I still have about 700-1300 views to go from people looking to laugh at my life). Still nothing to snark at.
I’ve decided I’m going to blog monthly. Every month. There will be a shiny new blog from Yours Truly. No matter what’s going on. Writing a book. Publishing a book. Being screwed over by yet another dishonest female or driving my Uber/Lyft car 100 hours a week. This is part of what I do, and I want to have some type of order and routine to it.
I have my next two novels planned already. Not sure if Takeda Jin will be able to get finished on time because I need to go to Japan first. Situations at home I think are going to get in the way of that. HOWEVER, I don’t need to go ANYWHERE to get started on my other manuscript. Titled: Unto Gardens ‘Neath Which Rivers Flow. It’s a fiction story based on a collection of thoughts on the after life I have after reading The Holy Bible, The Koran, and futuristically, The Book of Mormon, books from all religions regarding Dharma such as The Vedas [Hinduism], the Kangyur [Buddhism] and the Guru Granth Sahib [Sikhism]. I’ve been kicking around some ideas for the book cover. Don’t laugh at me, this is one of the things I do when I’m on the toilet for hours. I get creative in there!
Of course I’m not going to use Ms. Emily Jeffors’ picture as shown above, but I DO KNOW that I want watercolors. Something plain, serene, and beautiful…. done in watercolors. It must be. So it shall be lol. Wish me luck on the Tokyo trip, but I’m not sure it’s going to happen this year either. And my first step into Young adult Fiction with The Disciple of Takeda Jin will be delayed… yet again.
I want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who genuinely supported my writing endeavors this year. From everyone at the book fair, to everyone who sent and or posted a book selfie for #100DAYSOFFILIPINA. To those of you who took the time not only to read one or more of my novels, but also to review them online which is such a huge, HUGE thing! Thank you. I need those reviews.
This year, I decided to do things a little differently. I had a lot going on, so I had a lot to say of course. I added a few more videos for you to watch me try to explain what’s been going on and my plans for the future involving myself, my kids, my spiritual journey and my well thought out plans of being a rideshare participant!
So, it’s pretty simple. I just want to be left alone. I want my kids to have the free choice to live with whichever parent they want, and not be turned against me by anyone. I want to pray, in peace and to drive my little UBER/LYFT car while helping my parents and writing my BLOGS and books. I really don’t think that’s too much to ask for.
Was it as bad as I made it out to be? Was it a waste of time? A wasted year? I don’t know… I’ve learned a lot. With that being said, it’s only let me know how much I don’t know and made it that much more obvious that I need to keep on living and experiencing. I want to keep trying my best to be the better person in every situation I find myself in. GOD knows it’s been hard. People can surprise you.
I’m not sure I’ll be able to sum up my new years resolution in a sentence, or even two. But I’ll try. First, as always, I would like to look back and see what last years’ was from Rooks’ 2016 [Year End Blog]. Oh snap! I didn’t make one! LoL, I certainly hope that has nothing to do with the shittiness of this year lol. But really, I just want to get back to the basics. At the same time, this human rights thing has honestly gotten to me. So I’ll most likely be spending a great deal of my time seeing what it is I can do; ya know, “my part”.
I hope this hasn’t taken up too much of your time. I sincerely hope no one is hurt by anything I’ve said or done this year. At the very least, I can say with confidence I haven’t lied to or on any of you. So if you ARE hurt, it must be true what they say about ‘the truth’.
May you stay true to your resolutions this new year! And maybe we can all try to get back to the basics and be the bigger person in all the situations we find ourselves in. That’s what I’ll be doing.
Scream at me.