Hello, again. As I stated before, I have a number of blogs I have written this year, that I have simply not posted. I don’t know what I’m afraid or what I’m waiting for. This is something I’m sure many men my age and over have heard plenty.
In my head, I’m not 35. I know, I know. It’s getting harder to lose weight, I have 5 kids (which actually makes me about 60) I’m divorced and I have a poor outlook on everything younger people do these days. The way they dress, most of their music, their slang, their dances, and … shit, I could go on forever. But I just don’t feel like I’m THIS OLD! But alas, I am.
Women have a cool name for it. They’re COUGARS when they’re post middle-aged but prey on or prefer young 20-something year old men. However, people my age and older who would like to keep a PYT are labeled as, ‘creepy’, ‘Chester’s’, ‘gross’, and sometimes just “Ewl”. LoL. That’s cool and all. I get it. But hey, what is it people are saying exactly when they say “she’s too young for you”?
Back in grade school, we’re led to believe girls mature faster than boys. In adulthood, we are led to believe (mostly by women) that men don’t really mature at all. Even though I know that’s a stretch and just banter, when do we catch up with you guys? When does it equalize? Myself, at the ripe age of 35 am sometimes told I have tried to team up with women who are too young. In age and in their mindset.
This is something I don’t really like to play into. I recall being in my twenties and not allowing ANYONE to tell me what I was and wasn’t ready for. Had I been with a good woman before, perhaps I would have been a good husband. (I’ll never know) But I for one wasn’t going to look at my age and say “I’m too young to…” do all these things people say age determines. Like… fall in love, get married, have kids, or be with someone who has kids already etc. So I really don’t like to put that on anyone else.
I have learned some women think they are more mature than they really are. Maybe because they can hold a conversation longer than 5 minutes. Or because they’ve held a steady job. Or because they have a little money, had a lot of sexual partners/encounters. Or maybe because they had shitty parents who let them do shit they shouldn’t have been doing at younger ages. But when it comes down to it, they aren’t ready to spend weekend nights at home instead of out with their friends. They aren’t prepared to make that move away from home because their spouse got an overseas job. They aren’t ready to stop buying fancy clothes or buying the best weed and start paying bills.
Is this behavior indicative of a woman who is 24? 26? Are we under the impression that when a woman turns 31 that she’s left these types of behaviors behind? It’d be nice, right? It would make things easier. It sure would make the dating pool a lot more transparent lol.
But no, it’s not so cut n dry. I didn’t have my shit together when I was 23. But I know shitloads of people over 40, male and female who are more fucked up than I ever could have DREAMED of being in my twenties.
A woman in her 20′ hasn’t been anywhere. Hasn’t experienced enough. Hasn’t done enough. In some cases, that could be true. I mean… I have been to 45 out of our 50 states 23 of the 193 countries on earth. Such a small number in relation to some I’m sure, but there are some who have only been to one of each! Some people who haven’t left their home town in their entire lives! This isn’t indicative of age, is it? Well, of course not. I had seen more of the world at 18 than many have seen in their whole lives? Who am I to look at a younger woman and say she hasn’t?
Furthermore, working, education, hard times, child-rearing, etc… all these things can be accomplished by the mid-twenties. Not saying it’s the desired time frame, but it happens.
Some believe the only reason a younger woman would be interested in an older man is security. I have seen in the past how this could hold true for some men, but definitely not for me. There are many things I stand for consistently, but security is NOT really one of them lol.
Any woman interested in me is hopefully looking to ball out for a couple of months, then be hitting the dollar menu for the rest of the year. Or something close to it. But this would convey that all or at least most younger women have no money. Or just would rather spend someone else’s. And… I honestly can’t argue with that either. These days, women have taken on a very prideful act. Wanting to portray themselves as someone who would rather pay their own way, or not participate in whatever it may be than have a man pay for them. But to the ones keeping it real, that’s bullshit. Having money or not, most women I believe will let a man pay their way for WHATEVER if prompted. This is something I’m learning to keep a close eye on. In the past, I’ve had some major doosies who have hit me with that “independent woman” bullshit, but ended up simply ‘letting’ me spend thousands on them and our relationships are suddenly like a VH1 series of “Where Are They Now?” after shit gets real. GOD I want a fucking refund.
Don’t get me wrong. I realize the huge disconnect between myself and the typical mid-twenties woman. I have had the hardest time finding a woman I can relate to who is MY AGE, so finding someone who is ten years younger than me who REALLY understands what it is to care for a child, with your time and finances, how pleasurable it is to travel, and do so with your own money, or a woman that age who understands life really isn’t one big party is a stretch.
I believe at that age you still believe your parents are supposed to bail you out of any situation you get yourself in. I believe at that age one still thinks no matter what they do, everything will be alright. I believe people that age believe they have enough time to turn anything around. And hell, maybe they do.
Perhaps they believe that they can treat things in life so frivolously because they’re young. And that… maybe they’ll get around to growing up when they… you know… grow up…?
Either way, I’m just thinking out loud. Young, old, in between, I think we should just treat people like we want to be treated, be honest and stay in our lane.
What do you think? Scream at me,