Everyone Else is Doing it: How I Feel About Peer Pressure


Well, Hello! I know you probably don’t remember me.  I’m the guy who used to blog all the time.  Now it’s been three months since I’ve even bothered to… bother you with my ramblings. I felt like, while dealing with my own personal hell, a new relationship, new career opportunities, writing a new novel and of course continuing to try to be the best father I can be; that writing a blog could be good for me. Honestly, I miss this.

I originally started writing this blog about ‘Failure’, but I thought back and realised that failure is something I also can write an entire book on.  As-a-matter-of-fact, I think that’d be a cool book Title:

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I think we as adults believe that falling victim to peer pressure is an issue mainly suited for teenagers and pre-teens.   You know, the classic story of a little girl being pressured into sex.  Or a little boy being pressured into smoking a cigarette [or visa-versa].  Skipping class, etc.  Do we think we outgrow the ability to be coerced into doing things we don’t want to, aren’t ready to, or just flat out shouldn’t? Well, I’m here to tell you that is complete horse-hockey! Adults, I believe are the biggest victims of peer pressure.

How many times have you…

  • seen a woman buying a pair of shoes or pants because she saw [beyonce or] some other woman wearing them?
  • Seen a man sporting a hair fashion because all the other guys were doing it… you know, waves, dreadlocks or braids…

    Entlassung!
    mtdtraining.com
  • seen women going out and getting married and or pregnant because everyone they went to school with has already?
  • seen guys treating a woman poorly because their friends suggested it was the cool thing to do?
  • seen any gender of adult feeling a certain way about Obama, Trump or any “elected” official based on what their coworkers or family members said about them?
  • seen people making home purchases before they were able because everyone else was?
  • Gone off diet
  • Gone ON diets
  • Gone on dates

… [because] yada yada yada

I really could go on forever. We let our peers coerce us into doing so much it’s not even funny.  Even supposed strong-minded and strong-willed people such as myself.  Sometimes I weigh the peer pressure, and see if I can align it with a personal goal just to rationalise it… fact is, it was still peer pressure, I just made it sound good lol!

On the flipside, I’ve also published books, started a car club, gotten married, gotten divorced and none of these things were caused by peer pressure.  Depending on who is looking at any of those situations, they all ended unsuccessfully.    So, of course, making sure all your decisions are your own isn’t a recipe for success.  By no means, but I’d rather fail  [or succeed] knowing that the path I took to get to either outcome was my own, not one I was pressured into.

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I suppose, the ability to rise above peer pressure is situational.  I can easily avoid falling victim to peer pressure when it’s something I have complete control over.  I’ve never had the yearning or even enough curiositiy in drugs or alcohol to be pressured into trying them.  I can’t be pressured into sex, because it’s too exhausting. I can’t be pressured into buying shit, becuase I’m broke as fuck.  However, could I be pressured into going out to karaoke tonight? Of course?  And I really don’t need to go.  I have too much to do, to be out singing in a smokey bar to 80 people, waiting for 3 people to clap.  And yes, that’s an extremely mild example….  but give me a break.  I need to wrap this up, because my daughter needs a new phone, all her friends have the iPhone and she’s still rocking the Samsung SII.

Scream at me

-Rooks

p.s., seriously, try to identify times when you’re being pressured by your peers.  No matter how old you are.  And deal with it the same way you’d advice a child to.

 

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15 thoughts on “Everyone Else is Doing it: How I Feel About Peer Pressure

  1. Susie says:

    Im so pleased that we both got the time in today to do some writing! And yes, we have recently experienced a situation, where we have seen how a young individual can feel the need to “fit in”. It’s sad and I hope we as adults ,parents and/or stepparents, will be able to guide and help out for the children and young adults to make the right decisions. But you are right, even WE as grown-ups sometimes give into peer pressure. Hmm… I feel like i choose my clothes and styles from what I like myself and not from others opinions, I have my own political views and opinions about difficult topics like racism, homosexuality, sexism, equality and so on. I must admit though, that with my best friends having babies and starting there “adult life”, I’ve had a stronger feeling to do the same. I don’t know if it’s “the clock” ticking or seeing my friends creating these new lives.
    Great writing my love and I’m happy to see you doing your thing again 😍💕

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cami says:

    Back at it again, Rooks!!! You have a unique insight on matters that most of us don’t even have the mental capacity to fathom. I’ve definitely been guilty of giving in to peer pressure and have also unknowingly done the pressuring. I think this can also be looked it like your insight in your blog “It’s okay to use people.” Bottom line…. We are our own people…. We need to think for ourselves….but…. If peer pressure has a positive outcome…. Such as pressuring someone to make a healthy lifestyle change and it saves their life… Wouldn’t that be the same as inspiration? 💜💛💚💙❤️

    Great blog, Rooks!!! Keep it up!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jim Fish says:

    Hey Rooks! Good to see you are out broadcasting your meandering trains-of-thought to the four winds again, to see what will be returned… again, you have provided some food for thought… and, again you have attracted the debris that litters my mind. Lol
    I like to think I am cognizant of peer-pressure and will succumb at times, especially when it is something to which I’m not accustomed. Mostly, I feel I have been able to see peer-pressure for what it is and decide whether it is worth any perceived risks to investigate unfamiliar territory or to rely of the side of caution and, back away.
    However, if it comes down to a question of not doing something for fear of failure or not doing it in the first place because I feel pressured to do it… I would always opt to at least experience a thing, in anticipation of the lessons to follow.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Brittney says:

    And the blogs are back! 😍 I always enjoy reading you matetial whether it is your latest book release or your witty (at times hilariously inappropriate). Miss you and keep up with the blogging!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Farrah says:

    I miss your blogs too and I’m glad you’ve written a couple in the past month. While I don’t believe adults are totally exempt from peer pressure, I do believe we should have gain many mind tools to encourage us to make the decision we want to make for ourselves, not just because everyone is doing it. Out of the examples you listed, I’ve never done a single one just because someone or everyone else was doing it. I specifically don’t partake in events just for that reason. I can’t stand to do things or wear things that EVERYONE does. It really drives me crazy. I’ve never been one to follow beauty, clothing, or hair trends women come up with. I take pride in being different. I’d rather be my unique self than follow the crowd and be formed by a cookie cutter. Yes, I know you’d argue how my taste in wardrobe fits perfectly with my 1970’s suitcase, but do you think I care? If you answered yes, think again 😉 now, back to the issue of peer pressure. I mentioned to you how a group from school plans to go get tattoos together as a bonding gesture since one of our girls is leaving at the end of this school year (possibly two, if dodea can get their shit together). They all plan to get a very small one that symbolizes something significant in their lives. Of course, these girls and I are all close and they’ve asked me to join them. They say I can’t miss out on this event since most of the group doesn’t even have a tattoo yet and it would be a fun experience. Well, I’ve NEVER in my life considered getting a tattoo, always thought it was trashy and we’re not supposed to mark our bodies etc. I’ve never thought about it until recently. I thought about Autumn and began to look up various designs that were made in remembrance of babies who passed away before their parents ever got to hold them. I found one I REALLY REALLY like and if I were to get it, it’d be in a place that’s not visible all the time. Something just for me and her. But then I’ve been thinking, do I really want to do that? To have a physical way to remember her or just cherish the memories my heart and mind hold near? I’m 99% I won’t get one but I won’t say the thought didn’t cross my mind to meet up with people I trust and hold dear to partake in a somewhat meaningful event.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Farrah says:

        Umm…no let’s not ignore the first part. The first part is how I really think and did you miss the part about being 99% sure I WON’T get one? I know how you feel about tattoos…I was just using that as an example of peer pressure an adult can and is experiencing. And you’re welcome for reading and commenting, can’t wait for more 😆

        Like

      2. Farrah says:

        The day I’ll get a tattoo is when you’ll be there with me and we can get matching ones 😍😍😂

        Like

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