Rooks’ 2016 [Year End Blog]

Hello  Mommy, fans, friends, family, ex-friends, ex-lovers, haters, stalkers, and ex-wife! Yes… in that order. It truly is [no matter what I say in this blog] an extreme pleasure to have made it to the end of another year.  Life… even though we all take it for granted at times is precious. It’s fragile.  Depending on how one looks at it, it’s short.

By now, I would hope that if you’re reading you know the format of what is happening here.  My year end blog is something I’ve taken pretty seriously over the years.  A written diatribe of sorts and at times a fond recollection of my decisions and events of the year.  Last years Y.E.B. can be found here Rooks’ 2015. My blog, much like the rest of my unbriddled honesty gets me into more trouble than anything.  So, I guess that pretty much makes me somewhat of a glutton for punishment as people say. I suppose since I really don’t have anything clever to say I’ll jump right into it.

In the past, I’ve fashioned my year end blog month to month.  But last year I tried something new, and I rather liked it.  Here’s what I’m going to tell you.

1: Travel

2: Food

3: Me With [Relationships: Platonic and otherwise]

4: Writing [Books and Blogs]

5: Blah Blah Blah [short rant and resolution]

1: Travel

I started working with a new company this year.  One “Battlespace LLC”, which is based in North Las Vegas. A place I never had any plans on going to as I explained in my travel blog Perceive a, Las Vegas .

Vegas is definitely an experience.  Even for people like me who don’t drink, gamble, or pay exorbitant prices for hanky panky. I learned… for the most part, a new skillset and was in for some extensive travel.  Or so I thought.  I got dicked around by this company for about half of this year and they really didn’t care too much about my feelings about it because they were paying me a little money.  Just enough money to keep me from quitting mind you.  But we all know what happens when you pay someone just enough to keep them from quitting.  They only do as much as it takes to keep from getting fired.  That is a lose-lose situation.  But hey… they passed out some pretty cool free shirts and jackets, plus I must admit, the resume bullet looks pretty impressive if I must say so myself.

This VLOG sucks ass, but watch it anyway.

While being screwed around by BattleSpace I did some more stateside travel.  Oklahoma City and Austin, Texas.

That AMTRAK trip with the kids down to Austin for SXSW was awesome.  It wasn’t really for SXSW actually, it was for their spring break, and it just happened to be SXSW weekend. The other picture is of me checking out the windmills in Oklahoma. As much as I tease my mother about Oklahoma, because she’s from there, I’m actually rather fond of the place.  It’s quite affable.

Iraq.  After the company finally got it’s shit together and sent me out, my first stop was Iraq.  

I’ve been to Iraq before, but only for a day on an illegalish VISA run from Kuwait. So, I kinda feel like I had gone somewhere new.

It was a scorching hot summer.  And according to the Marine base commander, we were as close to DAESH [“ISIS”] as anyone at that moment.  Not usually something someone is happy to hear.  But in more than one sense of the word, we were in a HOT place! Just in case you’re wondering.  That is a crashed helicopter.  I did that with my bare hands! 😉

After I left the desert I went to Kuwait as per protocol and got a flight to Amsterdam.  I told you guys all about it in my blog Two Dams and a Hedge: My Trip to The Netherlands. And of course:

THIS VLOG WASN’T TOO BAD, CHECK IT OUT.

It was a pretty fun trip!  Some place I’ve always wanted to go. I hung out with my ex-girlfriend Deborah, acted an ass, photo-bombed, ate my face off and took selfies for four days!  Probably could’ve had more fun if I could’ve stayed longer but I had to get home for so many reasons.

I had a pleasant flight home and even got a nice surprise on the plane ride back!

Next was Turkey. This is probably the umteenth time something that I’ve written and published in a book has actually happened to me in some form or fashion.  In Invasion of the Most Sacred, Yasmeen Gülce lives in a place called Adana, Turkey.  I happen to be working in [at the time I was writing this blog] Incirlik Air base.  Which is pretty much in Adana, Turkey.  I thought that was pretty awesome.  I haven’t got to make a travel blog about Turkey yet, mainly because I work all the time and haven’t gotten to visit Istanbul.  I figure a blog about Turkey would be pretty foolish without at least Istanbul.

I’d love to cover Ankara and Izmir as well, but I’ll settle for Adana and Istanbul.  That will be coming soon after the beginning of the year or… whenever I get around to blogging again [I’ll talk about that later].

2: Food

I am a complete fat ass.  I will be going on a juice fast next month but I’m afraid it’ll only get me back to my normally overweight status.  Right now, I’m REALLY over weight.  I’ve never weighed over 250 lbs.  Well guess what, I do right now.  And you all can kiss my fat ass! Food makes me happy.  And after you read the next section of my blog, you’ll understand that I’m in need of some sort of constant; Other than bill collectors from the UAE and disappointing news from the homefront.

At home, cooked by Yours Truly

At The Hilton in Austin, Tx.

At Next Republic, in Adana, Turkey

At Cosecha in Adana, Turkey

At a friends house in Granbury, Tx.

At The Santa Fe Casino Hotel in Las, Vegas, Nv.

At The Burger Bar, in Amsterdam, The Netherlands

At Ozsut in Adana, Turkey

At Cosecha in Adana, Turkey

At Kapit Bahay Filipino in Las Vegas, Nv.

At Next Republic in Adana, Turkey

At Hash House a Go-Go

At Big Cup Eatery in Glen Rose, Tx.

At IZA in Incirlik, Turkey

At The Grand Cafe in Las Vegas, Nv.

At Humphrey’s in Rotterdam, The Netherlands

At Humphrey’s in Rotterdam, The Netherlands

At Humphrey’s, in Rotterdam, The Netherlands

At Catch, in the Hague

At Catch, in The Hague

At Hash House a Go-Go in Las Vegas, Nv.

I indulged in some extremely breath-taking culinary delights this year.  All the way from trying fish tacos for the first time at Big Cup eatery in Glen Rose, Tx. to eating Baklava for the first time in Incirlik, Turkey.  I have stuffed my face in over  6 countries this year. And this is just a group of pictures that I could find.  Click on the pictures to read the captions of what you’re looking at, and where I ate it.  Enjoy!

3: Me With

This section is fun.  Although I think after last year it should be called “Let’s see how many girls Rooks was with this year” I think it’s a great addition.  It of course includes a lot more than pictures of a few of the women I spend time with, but for some reason that gets the most attention.  Furthermore, women tend to take that as me advertising that I’m an unstable hobag.  Well, I hate to go all Tailor Swift-ey on you guys but…. I can’t make-em stay.  LoL.  I can’t make them be honest.  I can’t make them not be overly crazy.  I can’t make them be more responsible and I sure as hell can’t keep them from fucking other guys! So yea… I know it’s easy to just look at me as the common denominator and say I’m the issue.  But let’s just imagine, for a second, that I’m not. And also… pay attention to the OTHER pictures too, they’re here for a reason.  Gotdamn Drama Queens.

This woman…. I’ve always known her as LeeLee.  My sister.  The last time I saw her I believe I was about 16.  She was living in Virginia with her son and husband.  Every since I was in my single-digit years I loved LeeLee.  I must admit, almost in a fashion which was inappropriate.  Nothing sexual of course, but I just felt like… she was MY sister. No one elses.  I’ve always had a certain innocent possessiveness with her. She was always so vibrant, energetic and fun to be around.  LeeLee’s laugh is one which makes others want to laugh and or smile even if they don’t know whats going on.  From what I understand, she was a good and submissive wife to someone whom I never liked.  Never.  From the day I met him.  I reiterate, I never liked him.  Anyway… she was the one who gave me Brian.

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That is Brian.  Just in case you don’t know who I really am.  Remember the movie “Ted” and “Ted 2”?  Those movies were based off my relationship I had with Brian. I’ve had Brian for years.  He went through school with me.  The Air Force.  My marriage, and child birth’s all the way up to Jaixon.  He’s travelled the world with me.  All over America, to South Korea, Kuwait, Qatar, Afghanistan… But somewhere in Virginia in 2011, I lost him.  And I went nuts. Brian was all I had left of LeeLee.

Due to some marital turmoil, and bad advice from my father, LeeLee fell off the face of the earth.  Now, just because I believe my father is the wisest man on earth, does not mean he’s without fault at any given time.  Though he has principles that he sticks with for better or worse, he does make mistakes.  From what I understand about this situation, this was one of them.  And it helped cost a lot of us precious time with this woman. On my way to Turkey, my mother calls and tells me LeeLee had reached out to us.  I immedtiately lost interest in whatever it was my mother and I were talking about and demanded she give me her contact information.

At that point I contacted my long-lost-sister and have been pleased to no end that she’s back in our lives.  We text one another all weekend after a conversation on the phone.  Sent recent pictures and shared some memories.  On my way out of country, she flew to BWI to see me for a mere 30 minutes because she knew I was leaving country for a year… plus, I’m the most important person in our family to her, so she made it a point to see me first. 😉 I love, love, love this woman.  And I’m so thankful to GOD, Allah, Buddha, Lord Krishna, The Spaghetti Strainer or whoever else helped make this happen that I got a chance to see her and speak to her again.  The picture above is of a group of ladies boarding the flight with me.  They were listening in on our conversation, and they for one, didn’t believe she was my sister, then after that, they got all weepy-eyed about our situation. They took pictures with us, and LeeLee told them about my books… See?  See how that works? You love someone, you support them!  She did it automatically, with no prompting.  I love it. I love her, I love you LeeLee! I can’t say it enough. This, made me very happy.

My beautiful nephew Boobah.  His real name is William… but I’m not ever going to call him that. He’s Boobah. A smart, good-looking, charismatic and talented young man.  I mean… did I mention his last name was “Rooks”? So yeah, those things are pretty much a given. I’m so proud of him.  And I’m not even certain he’s done anything really outstanding… but he’s just awesome.  He’s one of those people who has a shitload of potential and he’s just… I don’t know, debating on whether he’s going to share it with the world. He’s a phenominal singer, a great writer… and he’s  just a great person.  It’s relationships like this which make me wonder why people for one, think that I’m homophobic, and two, are homophobic at all.  I’ve been promising a blog on this subject matter for a while now… and I hate to bring it up on a blurp about my nephew but, my understanding is that I don’t have to like what decisions he makes about who he chooses to love.  I just have to love him.  He is well aware of my standpoint on homosexuality and we are just fine.  I wish the world could be more like us. And it’s such a shame, women out there are at such a loss lol.

Cami.  I just met her around September.  She’s a real book-reader.  Which makes her automatically one of my favorite people.  MY Tinder profile this year has been set up as a shameless advertisement for my books and blogs.  I state very clearly I’m not looking to date, and I list all my information.  My website.  My facebook.  Instagram.  My blog.  Everything.  Even where to buy my books.  I use Tinder to market.  Screw you if you don’t like it.  Tagged too.  Matter-of-fact, I’m about to put up a profile on Plenty of Fish.  I don’t care!  I gotta get it!  The first week of talking to me after we matched, this woman had bought all of my books, and extra copies of Invasion of the Most Sacred to either sell or give away.  I can’t name one person to my knowledge who has ever done that. Subsequently, she’s hosted 3 more giveaways on popular book-reader forums on facebook.  Secured several reviews and shitloads of book-selfies for me.  This woman [if I had a steady income from book sales] deserves a salary from me.  She’s put in some real work for me, in the name of friendship and just truly being a fan.  I love this woman.With that being said, her and I have spent some time together eating tacos and playing around with eachothers kiddos.  With permission from my childrens mother of course [see, I follow the rules] I invited this woman to experience the most important part of my life.  Which is something not even a thimble full of women can say. She’s been a good friend.  She’s my new best friend. She also was the one who inspired me to write the blogs Can a White Woman Raise a Black Man? and  One Man’s Trash. For some reason, it’s too often the good-honest women end up being treated poorly. And I’m really sorry.  I’m glad you liked the blog, sweetheart!

Farrah. Or as I like to call her “You Should Be With, Farrah.”  One would think that’s her name with all the times I’ve heard that very phrase from various women over this year.

As if I need women to tell me who to chose to be with, at a time I think they may have been right.  This woman was a month out of a 5 year relationship and ready to figure out what she wanted to do with herself romantically.  She has a an education, good career as an educator, a couple of cool dogs, a place and a car.  She’s a full-blown adult.  However, like many women who have their shit together on paper, she makes the dumbest decisions in relationships. So when she had finally had enough of her ex, she gave Tinder a try. Within the first few days of talking, she said some shit that made me write her off altogether. At this moment, I can’t say whether me giving her another look after she recited some poetry to me over messenger, was a good idea or not. But I have to say, Farrah has done a lot more good for me than bad. Farrah is the kind of girl who everybody likes. She’s a harmless and kind figure on the outside.  On the inside she’s all mush.  She tries to act tough, but she is all butterflies, unicorns and rainbows.  Real rainbows, not the gay ones. She believes in love, hope, and is a true and blind optimist.  She likes to see the good in everyone, and that of course comes off to me as niàvate. But she’s right to want positive outcomes in life.  Just because the world is going to shit doesn’t mean that we all have to accept it. She inspired me to write the blogs How I Feel About: Online Dating and The Line: What Happens After We Break-Up.

Once Farrah realised she was in love with me, [after I had told her of course] she showed me what a dedicated woman did for a man. No one has ever done more for me than this woman. People tend to talk badly about clingy women… but that’s the thing, I like clingy!  Though her and I never really were together, she was by all intents and purposes, my girlfriend. I mean… even though she wasnt, we behaved as such.  I spent time in Vegas for work… so she came to see me in Vegas.  Bam.  Just like that.  It made me rethink all the relationships I had in the past where women used distance as a reason to write me off.  Not Farrah.  No matter where I went or talked about going, she either came, or made plans to go.  I swear to GOD, that’s the kind of woman I want!  But after a trip to Iraq, we fell apart.  She showed me the one side of her that I didn’t expect.  This seemingly perfect woman, could NOT handle being away from me.

Now, of course, that doesn’t sound like a bad thing.  I didnt necessarily want to be away from her either.  But, I work overseas. When I go to do that, especially somewhere like Iraq, I need your support… not drama. And I felt a void when we decided to stop talking. Which is how I ended up in The Netherlands a month later, with yet another scorned woman who couldn’t handle being around me.  How polarizing.

After returning to the states, Farrah and I began talking seriously again after I’d done some running around. And she kicked it up a notch.  She was there for me through the seperation of my family and divorce. Yes… I see those as two different things.  And she helped me out as much as she could.  She was really a rock for me in that time. But alas, a few idiosyncracies and a tragic incident tore us apart.  And we don’t even really talk anymore. But that doesn’t change that I think Farrah is a good girl. Although I never found out if she could cook… miss you, hun. Take care.

Along with that same situation was the loss of my last best friend.  I could be being dramatic but I don’t think we’ll ever get back to being what we were.  I loved this man.  A lot.  And I felt I was always there for him whenever he got caught up in how shitty life could be. Cliff and I have known eachother for years.  He was part of my car club shortly before it was sabotaged by a few cunts, and there afterwards for me after it continued to thrive for another year or so. We became friends, which as you know, is kinda hard for me.  I don’t call friends, friends easily. Cliff is a good guy, who is actually very smart and too good for his current occupation.  He’s funny and tall and he’s a ginger.  And, he has a huge penis.  IF you’d like to know how I know this… I’ve seen it. Happy?

Aside from a big penis, he has a big heart too.  And I believe it may have gotten the better of him when the relationship which I invited him to be a part of [mine and Farrah’s] came to an end.  He for some reason found himself challenging me on things that I felt were out of line. And in a very insensitive fashion I think.  Plus, since I believe his relationship with Farrah was starting to border on the inappropriate, I just felt it was best that I do away with both.  Even though it was extremely hard for me. But that doesn’t change the fact that I loved this guy.  Sigh… what a waste of a “Nigger” pass.

Double-D, Dutch, Deborah.  LoL, just joking.  I’m certain her cup size is much larger than that.  No disrespect, I’m just playing around.. but all in all, Deborah has some huge tits.  And she’s Dutch.  Now that that’s out of the way! Deborah:I met Deborah on Tinder.  In 2014!  We matched while I was in Kuwait, visiting Fernando’s punk, Puerto Rican ass.  We made a video about her, you may have seen on Instagram.

I just noticed the shirt I have on in this video in 2014 is the same shirt I had on the second day I was with Deborah!

So yea… You can see where the end of The Netherlands Vlog came from. Deborah and I talked while I was in Iraq, and the minute Farrah was apparently overwhelmed with my being away to the point of us arguing and not talking anymore, I gave Deborah all my attention. Sorry, Deb lol.  For Deborah was also a gal who had pretty recently been hurt by a guy.  She had her reservations about talking to me seriously but she did it anyway.  Apparently I’m able to convince women to do things they shouldn’t do.  Because she wasn’t ready for this.  And I’m very demanding. She convinced herself she was up to the challenge and she inspired me to write the blogs The Total Package and Are You ‘Acting Black’?. I obviously was very attracted to Deborah.  With time, she began feeling comfortable enough to do all things I asked her to do while I was away.  We even called ourselves a couple before we met, and exchanged 1-4-3’s.

After we arranged to meet after my deployment we also talked about the end game.  She’s a grown woman.  30, working abroad and also tired of the dating scene.  Talking about things other than meeting, having sex and what positions you like is just normal.  We talked about everything.  Racism, politics, children, baby names, family, and she taught me everything anyone should know about The Netherlands and much more. I love it when a woman can teach me shit.  I find it very attractive.  Any fuckin way, I went to The Netherlands to see her.  We met in the airport for Amsterdam.  She was in a black dress and some cute heels.  Her hair looked a mess.  It appeared that she tried to get it done, but was up with the hustle and bussle of trying to meet me very early and get that huge welcome basket for me that it got messed up along the way.  I feel like that was more affable than everything.  I think she really wanted to impress me, and she did.  As did I.  I just dropped hundreds of dollars on my outfit to fly there in.  New pants, new shoes, shirt, blazer and a fresh haircut. I feel like if someone doesn’t try to impress you on the first occasion they don’t value you… at all. The Netherlands was great.  And she tried her best to be a good guide.  Her job was tough.  A weary, picky and horny man was dependent on her for so many things. All in all, I just think she was super nervous and skeptical.  And towards the end of the trip, I had analyzed myself out of wanting to be with her.  She felt a certain way about it… and I did feel I was making a mistake. But I left it there anyway. The trip was unforgetable.  And so is she.  We don’t talk anymore, and it sucks.  I can’t hear anything about The Netherlands “Holland” or Dutch people without thinking about her.  I feel obligated to correct people when they say “Holland” instead of “The Netherlands”. And When things were good for those four days, they were good. They really were.

Raquel.  I hate to segway from person-to-person like this but I swear it doesn’t seem this fast in real life.  But as far as the word “Fast” goes, this next woman epitomises it.  She is a go-getter and slows down for nothing.  But the two days we spent together I believe she tried, for the life of her.

This forty-six year old bombshell runs circles around me with everything.  Let me tell you how this weekend went.  I woke up in Vegas, wanting to go get some fried catfish.  I get this hankering sometimes.  I googled until I found a place called “Gritz” cafe.  Not only did they have fried catfish, but it was also fried catfish cooked by black people.  Perfect.  While I was there, burning the roof of my mouth, I see fliers for an event featuring biz markie.  Of course… I’m there. *STIRT STIRT*, I catch an Uber to the event.  Groove to the music, get a couple of pictures with some people who were impressed with being published and then I see her. In this tight, short green dress.  Being followed by the feet and eyes of every man at the picnic.  I had no idea what she was doing there, but she was doing it well in some extremely high green heels.  I tweak my lips in approval of everything going on in that light skin and go on about my business.  I don’t bother hitting on women usually, and especially if they’re being jocked by tons of guys already. On my way out of the function she called out to me.  I turn around, and here she is walking towards me as gracefully as someone could wearing heels in grass. She asked if I wrote the book which was in my hand.  I responded in the affirmative.  She told me about a radio show she had where she interviewed authors and she’d love to have me on.  I was surprised!  But very much interested.  We exchange information and I told her maybe we could talk about it over dinner or something. She looked busy, and my Uber was on the way.  After waiting for my Uber for 10 minutes I notice an idiot in the same car as described on my screen fly out of the parking lot across the street and drive away.  While I’m calling UBER to complain about the idiot who was parked across the street from where I obviously was here she comes.

She asked what happened, I told her and she said. “Cancel it, I’m your Uber.” I mean… what was I supposed to do? She took me to an old soft top BMW Z3. Manual.  I’m just in heaven now.  So we talk on the way back to my hotel.  I’ve learned more about this woman in 15 minutes than I have about anyone in days, even weeks.  She’s just an all-around hustler.  She has more going on than I do almost.  And that’s just ridiculous.  Except, the things SHE does actually bring IN money. lol She told me she was going to do Hot Yoga and that I should do it as well. Like… she was literally insisting that I go to hot yoga with her. So I did.  No one ever invites me to SHIT!  Why would I pass this up.  So we go… And it’s possibly the hardest thing I’ve done in my life.  There was a man in the back of the class probably double my size and weight doing a better job than I was.  I felt like I was going to die.  Of overexersion, or even heat-stroke… or embarrassment. I’ve never sweat so much.  And it was hard to keep my eyes off her.  She was really sexy, over there bending, reaching, sweating… ugh, anyway.  Hot Yoga is erotic as fuck.

After that, she came back to my place where I proceeded to shower and tell her of my plans to ascend a portion of Mt. Charleston the following day.  She stayed there with me that night, the next morning we went to her GORGEOUS house which was less than 10 minutes away from my hotel and we went to Mt. Charleston. She kicked my ass all the way up the mountain.  She spent most of the time waiting for me.  The only reason I’m smiling in this pictuere is because we were on our way back to the fucking car!

The entire weekend was just so spontaneous and unexpected.  We went out to dinner at the Oyster Bar and said our goodbyes, and I never saw her again.  Possibly won’t.

Susie… I said I wasn’t going to write about her. Firstly, because she asked me not to [which is something I normally ignore] but secondly because she hurt me really bad and I didn’t feel like she deserved my time or recognition.

But… I feel like, I lied last year.  I feel like by not telling the truth about Renee being a lying, cheating, slutfaced hobag, I did her a great diservice.  I just told the good things about her, becuase I didn’t want to appear salty and she didn’t deserve for me to debase myself with divulging such truth’s about myself.  But isn’t this what my blog is about? Isn’t that what I’m all about? Honesty.  Unbriddled honesty.  About the good and bad about myself.  From embarrassing financial decisions and situations to literary accomplishments, I tell you people everything!  So here’s this. Susie.

While I was with the aforementiong slutfaced hobag [Renelyn Mallo] I gained the platonic acquaintance of Susie Brag on instagram. Nothing inappropriate.  She let me know from the beginning she was seeing someone, and I actually was too.  So we kept it light.  Speaking about racism, and Denmark [she’s Danish] and her accomplishments and goals, and mine of the same. This was in 2015.  When I broke up with Renelyn last year, Susie and I had a falling out.  She was just trying to be supportive by telling me to not stress over her… you know, cuz she was a lying, cheating, slutfaced, hobag. Susie was right about that, but I was still in love with Renee and I didn’t want to hear that.  So, I attacked her.  Telling her things about her long-distance relationship which I didn’t know for sure but later turned out to be true.  However, that’s not the point… So, she remained mature and pretty much unbothered by me lashing out at her, and we simply stopped talking.

Fast forward to last month and it had been a few months since I wrote back to apologize.  She took it all with a grain of salt, but told me she was breaking up with her boyfriend. In the past, when I was interested in women who were taken at the moment, I chill. For the most part, I chill.  It’s a respect thing.  And since 2012 and on I will forevermore chill when girls are with a guy, no matter what they say. But she said they were done.  And one thing I’ve noticed is, when women break up with guys, they say they’re taking a break from dating to be with themselves, hang with friends and just be free…. but its usually a week or so later they’re claiming they’re with someone else already on facebook with status changes and whatnot. So I was like FUCK DOT… This isn’t going to happen with this girl.  I pulled up quick, and told that girl [Susie] she needed to get on the Rooks train lol.  I suppose now would be the time to say that I think this woman is fucking gorgeous. She’s one of those girls who is so sexy she could sell products just by putting her face next to them.  I wanted that.  Plus I love her accent.

After she told me she wasn’t ready to do that we just continued talking.  A bit too heavy for someone who wasn’t ready.  We stayed up all hours of the night talking.  And from what I gather at this point, if you speak to me for any amount of time, you’re going to take to me.  Because this is the umteenth time a scorned woman has convinced herself that she’s healed enough to be with me seriously and she really wasn’t. She spent her own money to fly to Turkey to see me for a week. I put my heart into this one.  I really did. Not saying I never have any other time… but I did it all.  ALL OF IT. Even the shit I say I don’t do, I DID IT! Understand? I did it a lot, gotdammit!

Come to find out this nigga is still talking to her ex.  And not just talking, but telling him the exact same shit she’s been telling me. Sending him inappropriate pics [ones she was taking here in my apartment] and also telling him she was just here to clear her head and we were just friends. At the same time, she was telling me that HE was harassing HER and wouldn’t leave her alone.

It sucks, ya know? After making the very concious decision just over 2 years ago that I am NOT going to be such a skank anymore I encounter these women who just can’t be honest with me. But I gave her another chance.  I always do.  That blew up in my face as well.

Now, be it far from me to sit here and only tell the bad things about Susie. I actually do love this woman.  And if she could actually come correct I wouldn’t have a problem with trying this again.  Who am I to tell someone they’ve messed up so badly that they can’t redeem themselves? I’ve done some women really wrong.  I felt these things were just a little karma coming my way. But she’s a pleasure to be with.  I’m honestly intrigued to see what she would be like when she’s really being 100 with me.  But my trust has been lost.  And we all [should] know trust is the most important thing in a relationship. But it’s hard.  It takes work.  Determination.  And a lot of pride-swallowing.  But if you feel it’s worth it, you need to go after it, that’s what you do! So, Susie.  Get your shit together and go after it. For some reason, I haven’t given up on you or us yet. –

Here’s some more ‘Me With’!  Read the captions, enjoy!

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You know… as I look back over the “Me With” section from last year I find it amazing at how much some of those people… most of those people meant to me at a time.  And how much I thought I meant to them.  I look through my phone, emails, tablets… they’re nowhere to be found. Doing this blog this way helps me realise all the more how quickly seasons pass. In more ways than one actually.

My darling daughter Autumn. You never made it out here.  On one hand I could be selfish and think about myself and how hurt I am to have never met you.  To have gotten so very excited to invite another little girl into the world.  One who the mother even let me name for once!  You were going to bring so much joy… you were already bringing so much joy.  And that’s the other hand… the hand which I’m more interested in opening.  You are just a thought now.  A spirit.  A muse.  An angel. Who came for a special season, and a specific reason. You may have come to restore hope.  Hope that a woman had lost in ever being able to hear a heartbeat inside of her other than her own. Or hope to a man who has always wanted nothing more than to have a happy family all under one roof. The possibilities which you represent, made for certain that your short time here wasn’t in vain. If there’s anything that I could’ve done differently, baby, I’m sorry. Because I wanted you here.  To meet your mother.  And to meet the coolest 5 brothers and sisters a little girl could have. And to experience all the love, chaos and fun they come with. But if this was just meant to be… your purpose, to come and leave.  I thank GOD for you. And know I will never forget you. When the leaves start to change colors, whither and fall to the ground. The sky paint itself gray, and the winds whisper a cool breeze across my face… I will think of you,

My Dearest, Autumn.

 

 

 

 

 

4: Writing

Right here, and now, we are in my blog.  Wordpress has been a good landing sight for all my thoughts, rants, and sensibilities.  Over the years, my blog views and patronage has grown in size.  Exponentially actually.  And with hitting a height of 50,200 views last year, I made a soft goal of reaching 85,000 views, and hard goal of 100,000 for 2016.  As of today, I haven’t made it yet as you can see below but… I’m trying to stay encouraged. As far as my averages go, and it not being quite the end of the year yet, I stand to see an increase in the range of 1100-1400 before the ball drops on 2016. So, as always, read, comment and SHARE when you’re done reading this insanely long publication.

I’ve posted a blog every two weeks this year.  It’s been all I can do in the effort to reach this goal of doubling last years numbers.  It was a challenge.  Trying to find interesting topics.  Things I’m well-versed on.  Or at least learned enough to tell my opinion on in an intelligent or at least entertaining way lol. Letting people know whenever I posted by making stills for the blogs and posting them on Instagram, Google+, Facebook,  Tagged and even in people’s text messages inboxes at random. Fuck it.  Why not?

My most popular blogs that I posted this year were [in this order] I Don’t Do All That Freaky Shit, The Total Package, Public Breastfeeding: Necessity or Attention-Seeking?, and How I Feel About: Online Dating . So, the format seems to go that my most popular blogs circle around sex or women.  As I look at my top ten from this year, that’s the answer.  But I can’t only talk about sex and women/relationships! My birthday blog was runner up, then one of my parenting blogs and One Man’s Trash.  It’s somewhat disappointing blogs that I wrote about more serious matters weren’t read more.  But perhaps people don’t feel I’m an authority on matters such as Islamophobia, being black in America or care to read about my travles, because my travel blogs are highly ignored lol.  Funny, my blog about breastfeeding was in the top four this year.  Which… leads me to believe people just want to see tits.  I don’t know.  Either way, I’m thankful for every view.  And even though I won’t be blogging as much next year, I will hopefully continue to grow as a writer, and that graph will as well.  Will I reach 100,000 in 2016?  It’s up to you!  Read, Comment, SHARE!!!!!!!  You guys share some of the DUMBEST SHIT, but I gotta beg just for you to share my blog, just once!  Ugh… lol.

 

Why won’t I be blogging very much this year? FILIPINA! My sixth novel will be released IN THE PHILIPPINES this September at the Manila International Book Fair! And I mean it.

These are the book cover concepts. There was no voting contest this time.  I decided to go   with the cover concept design which didn’t look like an ‘Asian’ porno flick. When I pitched the idea to the designer, I think he didn’t really understand what I meant.  But, I must admit I like the more abstract design.  So, I automatically went with it.  It will be evident that the book is told from the standpoints of four Filipino women. I have 9 months to tell you guys about this story.  But basically this book is compiled from hundreds of stories I’ve heard from the Filipino women I’ve been honored to become acquainted with over the years. Any woman can identify with what these and other women from that side of the world go through, however their story is somewhat unique and from what I understand, hasnt been properly told yet.  So, here I go, trying to do it for them.

 

Wish me luck! And whenever you post anything about this novel use the hashtag:

#ReadFilipina

Got it? Good.  I was awarded with an accolade this year.  I’m one of the “50 Great Authors You Should Be Reading” by TheAuthorsShow.com.  Thank you to everyone who voted!

I will be featured in their 2017 publication soon.  And even though it’s not “Oprah’s Book Club” [which isn’t even a thing anymore to my understanding], its something.  And it hopefully shows how serious I am about continuing and growing as a writer.

I hope to continue to gain more accolades for my writing.  After reading some of the reviews from Invasion of the Most Sacred, I realised that this isn’t just something I’m hoping I’m good at.  I know for sure now I have an audience, and of course, not everyone liked my book.  Some people didn’t like it.  Some people didn’t get it.  Some people didn’t agree with it.  But what all that means is… people read it!  Opinions were formed.  And thoughts were provoked!  That is the goal of a writer.  Not to be a rockstar, or rich… but have their art evaluated… thought about, talked about.  And hopefully enjoyed.  A blogger from Turkey wrote about Invasion last month, and one of her followers which I believe is PROBABLY a terrorist, or someone who just simply hates America went completely left on the simple idea of my book!  Because an American played a part in something good happening in the Greater Middle East!  It was horrifying!  But also exciting to see people dialoging about my book!  The exchange ended in a conversation about Donald Trump and I quickly lost interest.  Wrote a blog about him too this year actually; Trump: The Average American… sorta.

I’m not done with Invasion of the Most Sacred.  I had it edited again, for the 4th time, by a real professional and it seems to be pretty spot on now.  All I need now is a new cover with a quote from my Kirkus review *GASP* Yes… I got a Kirkus review.  I’m in the process of letting them know how I feel about them and their “professional review” but there was a quote I’d like to use on the cover… plus have it completely redone because in true petty Robert Lovelle Rooks fashion… I don’t want this book to take off while it’s still represented by artwork done for me by that slag I was with last year.  So, if you know of a good book cover designer, let me know! Invasion is going through its last makeover, and it will continue to do great things I believe! Here’s the excerpt from the review I’m going to use.

“…Lovelle has a keen ear for the brusque rhythm of combat and a fine sense of the manly bonds of martial fraternity…”

Why this guy decided to call me by my middle name the entire review I have no idea.  Plus during the review he showed that his interpretation of the situation was that Azita and Yasmeen were in Turkey the entire book.  When… it clearly says they’re in [say it with me] IRAN the entire book excluding the first chapter where the two were on the phone.  Discussing the trip Yasmeen was about to take to see Azita in [Say it with me] MASHAAD, IRAN the very next day! So… yeah, if you are a book reviewer, trying to be snarky, edgy and overly critical and you can’t even comprehend what you’re reading… you need to put in that two weeks notice. Here’s an actual real review.  Just because it’s a good one doesn’t mean I’m biased.  This book reviewer actually took time to read, and understand this book.

A few things make this such a great review.  Number one, the format.  Sunnymama4 explained her thoughts as they come to you in the book.  From three different points of view.  Number two, the end matter.  If you go to her amazon page [yes, I stalked her] there’s a few things that she includes on all her reviews.  Giving you, the reader some overviews. Number three. I can tell she actually read and understood the entire book! Number four, I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE IS! Not to take away from reiews left by people I know.  But I have no idea who this is, and one can tell she’s an actual book reviewer by looking at all the other book reviews she’s left on Amazon!  This review almost made me cry.  It was 4 stars.  That’s fine with me. It’s great actually! This is why I write. LEAVE REVIEWS FOR MY BOOKS ON AMAZON, PLEASE!  OR GOODREADS, OR BARNES AND NOBLE, BOOKS A MILLION, FACEBOOK, WHERE EVER! Oh, and for everyone out there who may like to call themselves a supporter, I must say thank you for even aspiring to be one.  But if you haven’t told people about my books or blogs, whether in person, or over social media, what exactly do you think you’re doing?

To all the family members who asked me to send them books after September, I’d like to send a HUGE “Fuck You” for not bothering to even say “Thank You” some type of way.  I sent you all  links on how to donate money for the books I sent, you had my phone number, my email address and you know how to reach my parents.  The least you could’ve done was say “Thank you”.  These books are my life.  And they’re not free.  And you people sat there in my face saying how much you wanted to support me. Not a single review, not a single cent.  Nothing. So yea… Fuck you.  That goes for cousins, aunts, uncles whoever you are.

OK, I’m done. 🙂 Had to get that out.

 

5: Blah blah blah

OK.  This has gone on long enough. My life is constantly a testament to duality.  I’m a good father, but I’m rarely around.  I make good money, but I spend it all.  I’m a good writer, but I lack a large fan base and I get impatient sometimes and push when I should be polishing.  I’m very insightful when it comes to relationships, but can’t seem to find myself in a good one.  I find fitness important, but I eat more burgers than anyone. I have no idea what I’m doing.

Last years resolution was to expect victory.  And to a certain point, I did.  I claimed the job in Turkey, and I got it.  I knew in my heart I’d be a winner in the Authors Show contest. And I want to continue that sort of attitude.  It comes from growing up in the church, and learning that in the name of Jesus, I can claim anything.  However, having my own brain, I know that’s not true.  There are some things that I could claim that Jesus doesn’t want for me. Or it could be that it just wasn’t “meant” for me.  However I want to look at it.  But if a goal is attainable, and I work for it, GOD might grant me that very thing.  And I feel that’s true.  I believe achievement is a combination of hard work, AND grace.  Because very little is just given to us.  But we do have to realize that on a day to day basis we get things that we don’t work for or deserve.

I’m sorry to anyone that I may have offended this year.  If you deserved it, then deal with it.  If not, holler at me, we can talk about it. I wish everyone success in the meaningful, and genuine things they aspire to do.  And I sincerely thank you for reading my year end blog.  Happy New Year. Don’t forget… tell someone about my blog.  Maybe not this one, but pick one… there are plenty.  Pick one that you like, and share it.  Tell someone to put the remote down and read some of this good shit! 😉 Be safe.

 

Scream at me.