Recently, I of course have been doing some online dating. Why would I have such deep thoughts and robust knowledge of the ins-and-outs of the process (Click here: My Blog about Online Dating)? There’s been this thing that I’ve been noticing on a vast majority of the ads I see from city-to-city, state-to-state and even country-to-country! The need women feel for advertising they aren’t looking for sex!
It’s said in several different ways:
- I’m not looking for sex
- If all you want is sex, move on
- Not looking for a fling
- Not looking to get physical
- No Netflix and chill
- I’m not like regular girls…
- I’m a sapiosexual (bullshit)
- Not looking for a hook up
Now that last one is the main one! It’s like there’s a class for online dating which is offered only to females, and they strongly suggest they all use “Not looking for a hook up” on their profiles.
Are you wondering whether I think there’s something wrong with women [or anyone for that matter] making it known that they want to get to know someone first before knocking the boots? Before bumping uglies? Before banging knees? Before making grass sandwiches? Hittin’ skins? Smashing? Banging? Smanging? Blamming? Fucking? Crushing? LoL… ok, I’ll stop. No! Of course not! That’s a good thing! The problem is, none of these bitches mean it. So why even say it?
How do I know this? Well… I’m not a player. I don’t even crush a lot. But it’s always the same ones talking that shit about “not looking for a hook up” who are sending me their coochie straight to my inbox. It’s the same ones who whenever I invite them to my hotel room, they make themselves comfortable on the bed [when there are other places to sit in the room]. The same ones giving up the nappy dugout to me, and millions of other guys on the first notion. This is NOT a double-standard. If a guy puts out there that he isn’t looking to get physical at first, or isn’t ONLY looking for sex, but beats it up on first sight, he’s wrong too. I’m just tired of the false advertisement. If you’re willing to get down with the GET DOWN right away [which most of you are] just shut the fuck up! And let things run their course. No need to put out there that you’re some type of goodie two shoes choir girl when really, you’re more like Rihanna in… ALL of her songs!
Anyone who has a brain knows women enjoy sex more than men do. They just enjoy it [more commonly] with one man a trillion times a year whereas more commonly men want to have sex with a trillion women before they die. So why act as if after you meet up after all the online bullshit is done that you won’t greenlight for egg fertilization? It’s ridiculous. I want all the bitches out there who are down to fuck on the first date to start admitting it! Seriously. The second date too… because I want to let you ladies in on a little secret… letting a dude bone on the second date is just as bad as letting him bone on the first date. Maybe even worse, because basically you’re denying that you had the urge and the wanting but it was just to keep you from “looking like a _____”. Which is stupid, because the only way you should look at yourself as a _____ is if you’re jumping on every John, Dick and Pedro you meet!
So, there’s my point. I don’t need you gals to go onto Tinder, Bumble, Tagged, Badoo or wherever and say “Yes, you possibly can crush these guts off top” but I need you to stop lying to us, and yourselves. You possibly are going to let us bone, and a lot of you are just looking for a hook up. Forget how you look. You already look stupid because of this shit:
Alright anyway, before I get off on a rant about how stupid all these filters are, I just wanted to tell you guys to keep it real! And stop being so focused on whether you give up the panties right away. And “Hook ups” happen! Often times unintentionally. The last relationship I had was ACTUALLY a 3-month hook up! If people were just honest, we would know whats going on! LoL.
Scream at me
Yes… I was purposefully looking for several different colloquialisms or slang terms to use for sexual intercourse in this blog.