The Total Package

Trace Adkins likes a girl with a Honkeytonk Badonkeydonk.  Master P, wanted a Gangsta Girl. LFO liked girls who wore Abercrombie and Fitch. Project Pat, Baby (#1 Stunna) and a few others say they like their woman to have gold teeth.  My GOD, I can’t think of anything more repulsive.  However, our taste is just that.  Our individual preferences. They’re different from person to person.  Therefore, I believe perfection is possible, yet relative as far as a partner is concerned.

The term “settle down” has always bothered me. Even though it’s just me being my regular old overly-analytical self; That phrase has two words which are pretty much the exact opposite of what I want when choosing the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Number one, I’m settling.  And not only am I settling, but I’m settling DOWN.

This is exactly what people [or at least women] are taught NOT to do.  Don’t settle. Make sure the person you give yourself to, deserves you.  Make sure they’re exactly who you want.  Well, I happen to agree.

As I go through a huge, overdue transition in my life, I find myself realistically looking at meaningful and long-term relationships. Moreover, A real relationship.  A real relationship with the Perfect Woman… for Me.  Now, people may say, “nobody is perfect”.  That would be true. But I happen to think my mother is perfect for my dad.  And he for her.  My father’s ex-wive… was NOT perfect for him.  She may be perfect for someone, but not him.  Or, as Eddie Murphy said:


And yes… I know he said “settle down” but hey… he was a comedian [the best in my opinion], not a deep-thinker.  At least not at the time.

What “The Total Package” is about, is that person who is IT for you.  It’s not like I expect to never argue.  Quite the contrary; I believe arguments/disagreements are a part of relationships, and should happen.  And a good couple will know how to come out of that argument or disagreement victorious, as a unit.  In turn, making them stronger. However, I do expect to be completely satisfied with that woman.

I know of women who have told me and shown me they are willing to do ANYTHING for me.  Be everything that I want and need.  And I believe them.  My GOD I believe them.  And I appreciate them so much, because to show one man [especially me] that type of dedication is priceless.  Being able to want to cook for me, to read my shit, support me, accept and love the fact that I’m a father [by every definition] and also being able to accept that I’m a tad bit bossy; that received_1324196874276077is a miracle!  That’s like, 95% of what I want!  Honestly.  But what’s the 5%?

**SIGH**… her looks. My issue is, am I shallow because I think I should hold out for a woman with the 95% AND the 5%? Or should I settle down with the 95%? Or should it even be considered settling down in the first place?

I think wanting 100% out of the woman I’m about to invest everything into isn’t too bad of a plan.  I mean… I currently run a very high risk of dying alone. Eh… whatever. There are worse things.  Like marrying someone who is completely wrong for you. LoL.  Been there, done that. Paying rent twice a month for it already. [yet another thing a woman would have to accept]. But if I were lucky enough.  To hold fast to this plan, and run into this woman.  A woman who is supportive, a good cook [notice how the food is always at the top of my list or close lol] accomplished, self-sufficient, and also attractive and attracted to me!?


I’ve had the daydream a million times.  Of me being out with my woman, a fictitious woman, hanging out at a bar, or walking around in the mall; and seeing a beautiful lady, pointing her out to my woman as I normally do, so it makes me easier to stare… and feeling slighted.  I look at the beautiful lady walking around, and then look at my woman and say… I wish she looked more like that.  THAT is wrong!  One shouldn’t do that with the person they’re with.  Now… do I come out and say this to my woman?  Of course not.  Normally, no man does.  But quite surely, every man who settled for a woman who isn’t everything he wants aesthetically THINKS it.  And therefore he feels like he compromised.  Yes… I have children with this woman, and I love her, and she loves me… but younger me would be looking at me received_1327906853905079like “Why the fuck did you marry this boogarwolf?”

Now, I’ve also MADE MYSELF have the same daydream.  Yet this time, my woman has big ass titties. A pretty face.  Soft and healthy skin.  Nice teeth, nice feet, nice thighs and a round booty. She might be a little fluffy.  But I LOVE fluffy.  Her stomach might not be completely flat, she’s got a little pudge, whatever, That’s fine! But THAT is sexy to me.  THAT is what I want. And when I see a beauty walk by… I’ll notice, I’ll point her out, and I’ll look.  But when I look back at my woman, I don’t feel slighted.  I’m like… “Eh she’s bad… but look at what I have!”  THAT is The Total Package.  The satisfaction of knowing the person you’re with is EVERYTHING YOU WANT and NEED. The 95%… the most important stuff… she’s everything I want at home.  She has all the requirements on the inside. Doesn’t mind giving up a little road head, and isn’t a lying, cheating whore. 🙂 And on TOP of all that, she’s got the 5%! Am I wrong, for wanting that?  Am I wrong for knowing that for me, it’s the only way a relationship will work?

Naw… I think more marriages would end in ’til death do us part’ instead of Divorce Decree’s if more people held on til they got their total package.  And not just settling down with:

  • the best pussy they’ve ever had.
  • the guy who dicked them down the best.
  • Or the guy with the biggest wallet.
  • The girl whom I accidentally got pregnant when the condom popped.
  • The guy whom my family likes the most.
  • The one who does whatever I say because I’m MUCH more attractive than he/she is…


Wait for The Total Package…



So, the young lady I’m seeing now.  I’m not sure if it’s going to last forever.  But I hope so.  I’m hopeful.  I’ve been hurt.  She’s been received_1324136554282109-1hurt.  I’m going through shit, she’s going through shit.  But I’d like to think the perfect relationship is when you have the person you want to go through shit WITH.  Not that you expect times to be perfect… nor expect them all to be bad, but you just have the perfect person to go through imperfect times with.  Being with her/him makes turbulent times seem manageable. That’s who I hope she is. Just once, it’d be nice to have someone who is just as tired of liars, cheaters, users and abusers as I am.  And just do things together.  Do life together.  Whatever it is. And overall, I hope she’s a woman who won’t give up on me. Hopefully we can be a couple who won’t give up on each other.  I hope I’ve found my total package. After all, she inspired me to write this blog, and kinda changed my mind from my thinking oh, so many years ago, as displayed in You Won’t Get 100% 13Sept2012. .


Scream at me



P.S.  Let’s remember to be realistic.  I’m not in the best shape in the world, so I don’t expect my woman to be Ms. Fit.  However, she COULD be, but I don’t expect that.  I’m not rolling in dough, so I don’t expect my woman to be a baller. I’m not the smartest man in the world, so I don’t expect my woman to be the highest scholar… although she could be.  I’m just saying, for some reason people these days often think they deserve everything out of a partner but have absolutely nothing in turn to offer.  No likeness in their reciprocity.  Like, ratchet chicks with no income, terrible fashion sense and an 8th grade reading level expecting to get a man with a six-figure income, at least a bachelors degree, drive a nice car to want to get with them.  Honey, in what world?

Be realistic… with your Total Package ;).

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  • Video clip from: Eddie Murphy Raw; 1987
  • Pictures of the hot Dutch chick: from my cell phone

12 thoughts on “The Total Package

  1. Farrah says:

    Nice blog. Sounds like you’ve reevaluated what really matters. I’d say 95% compatibility is far better than most couples have. I’m glad you’re happy. Keep enjoying life 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. DJA says:

    Thank you sweetheart for your kind words. I am looking forward on spending our life together. You and I.. You are my team. You are my Total Package 🙂

    Much love and kisses ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Laura Torres says:

    I think it’s good to have realistic standards and it is possible to find that 100% with those standard and anything more they have to offer is a bonus. If you feel as you are settling chances are you won’t be happy.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mary says:

    Great blog, you hit the nail on the head, with this one. There are some who are settling for the reason of not being alone , or due to age their not getting any younger so why not. And some in a relationship that they are not happy in but say if I leave to who or what. Some will tolerate things to just say I have a man or woman . And settle. To each there own , but ones own happiness is worth more then being unhappy and miserable just for the sake of not being alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Berlin says:

    Just stumbled upon your blogs today and am addicted. This one here was such a good read and I agree with everything I have read so far. Keep up the Great Work 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Emily says:

    5 stars! Couldn’t agree more…there are no perfect people…but I do believe that there is someone perfect for everyone. I don’t think anyone intentionally says I’m gonna pick this person, even though I know I’m not gonna be content with them..I don’t think anyone really WANTS to settle…we do it out of …alot of reasons, fear I think mostly…though most people would never admit that… many people pretend to be something they are not so they can use others to get what they want then turn into someone you’ve never met before.

    I think your percentages here are much more accurate than most…I think most people put too much emphasis on physical appearance…a hot body…but no brains…can’t keep a roof over your head. Or stimulate your mind. Like you said, what everyone wants is different…

    I think the most important concept in this one is actually the latter addition you added..being realistic in our total package…being what we want to attract. If you want a man that makes a 6 figure salary then be a woman who makes one.,..if you want A well dressed person be a well dressed person. To me, a true total package is more importantly based on what I don’t want. What you want can change…but what you don’t want, rarely does. Someone can appear to be 100%, what you want, cooks, looks decent, supports you shares your interest, isn’t hard to come by…it’s what you don’t want that makes your total package so rare. It’s loyalty, integrity, and dedication that ultimately set that person apart. Finding someone who puts in the work. Someone who is everything you don’t want AND willing to be everything you want, that’s priceless. That’s real. Someone can act like everything you think you want…but then they cheat…or worse… just as quickly as you were smitten…they become an ex.


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