How I Feel About: Suicide


So, I’ve decided to start the new year off on a positive note as you can see!  This is one of those topics I’ve been asked about, been argued down about and also been excommunicated for, numerous times within the last 15 years. Also one of the few people have asked me to blog about. So,  here goes:

This shouldn’t take long because my feelings on this subject are quite singular and unchanging.

Before I get started, if you’re actually contemplating suicide please speak to a loved one or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline @ 1 (800) 273-8255

As we all know, committing suicide is simply the act of causing ones own death.

The means of causing suicide have varied for many different reasons such as location, time in history and the availability of such means. For example, if you’re locked up in prison you most likely won’t be comitting suicide with a gun because you shouldn’t have access to one.

Suicides have some pretty distinct risk factors and causes such as homelessness, financial dispair, mental illness/brain injury, post-traumatic stress (ie. war, witnessing a murder) and one that I personally have seen more than anything, love and relationships.

 

My opinions about suicide are not popular.  Granted, whenever I speak on the subject it’s usually stemming from a topic about a recent death caused by a suicide that  I’m well-informed on.  I haven’t verified any psychiatric issues in the people who have committed suicide.  But then again, how could I?  So, in a general fashion, I simply hold everyone responsible for their actions.  Whether that action is having unprotected sex with a prostitute in Bangkok, or eating glue.

With that being said, I think comitting suicide is a completely selfish act, and I have no sympathy for anyone who does it.  Nor will I ever.

 

I’m pausing…

 

So you can start hating me.

 

And now that you realise that I know you hate me, you can react as if you don’t care about my opinion, even though you do.

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I was recently attacked on facebook by a woman who is a widower of an Iraq Vet.  His service and dedication to our country has my unbriddled respect, but the moment that responsibility and burden of what he’d been through became so much that he took himself from his wife, and children, friends, loved-ones and fellow soldiers, my respect and support stops. I had met this woman shortly after her husband had killed himself and she was distraught, but also flirting with me and talking about what she was going to do with his SGLI IF she were to get it [I’m hoping she didn’t]. Plus… she really never had much nice to say about him anyway.  But, maybe she was just going through the angry phase, which is of course okay.  Fast forward a few years, and now every time Veterans Day, Memorial Day, or Labor Day comes around, she’s talking Dorito’s about her dead ex-husband.  And about how honorable he was, and soliciting support for suicidal people.  I really don’t dig it.  And I also don’t dig the fact that just because I don’t feel like paying homage to someone who took their own life that I’m labeled as a bad person.

I know war vets who were killed in action.  THAT is an honorable death.  And I’ll continue to honor those KIA.

 

I also have several examples of people close to those who have committed suicide using that event to publically plea for sympathy.  Have pity parties, and generally just be pathetic just for the sake of being pathetic.

People who repeatedly try to kill themselves, using it as an attention seeking device, or the proverbrial “cry for help”… I have no sympathy.  I really don’t.  Everyone has shit.  Heart break.  Traumatic and dramatic experiences.  Parental problems, child problems, rejection and all around shitty times in life.

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If you have the ass to write a suicide note? Oh, hell no… definitely no sympathy. Do I really even need to get into that?  Writing the note means you want someone or everyone to KNOW exactly why you did it, and want them to FEEL BAD ABOUT IT! You knew you were feeling down and instead of trying to get some help, you write a letter basically showing you’re cognisant of your actions and pinpointing the things which have led to this; then are making a conscious decision, to ruin everyone’s day.

I haven’t had a leg blown off at war… I haven’t had a wife screw my brother… or found out one of my children arent mine.  And everyone has their own breaking points, but no one can tell me when or when not to break.  With THAT being said, according to people who are sympathetic to suicidal individuals, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO TRY AND TAKE MY OWN LIFE.

 

Let’s delve into that.  I have a wife… and even though she doesn’t like me, and wants to hurry up and sign them papers, she’d be pretty upset if I were to kill myself.

I have children… who, I think would be pretty confused, upset, sad and angry that I died…

Parents, especially a mother who would be completely devasted.

I have an extremely small handful of friends who would be wrecked by this information of my demise.

And there are a shitload of women out there who would be completely knocked out of their seats once they learned that I took their chances of taking a swing at me away.

All because I can’t handle something.  And I see killing myself as the only way out.  As far as mental illness goes, unless theres one which makes you inflict harm on yourself WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE, all these ‘suicidees’ knew what they were doing when they hung themselves, shot themselves, slit their wrists or swallowed all those pills. I’d know… what I was doing.  But I just care about a way out.

I’m not thinking about an all black funeral.  I’m not thinking about the wife, parents, family, friends, kids and bills I’m leaving behind.  Just me… and my problems.

No… absolutely not.  No sympathy.

 

I know… it seems heartless.  My opinion is heartless. Not someone takin their own life… Naw,  that’s sad and deserving of pity, right? Because I’m certain people will focus on mentally unstable individuals… whom you can’t really prove don’t know the concequence of their actions.  But I doubt very seriously that the majority of suicides are in this bracket.  Furthermore, if you want to be angry at someone, be angry at the people around this person who didn’t do enough to stop these things from happening.  But alas… if someone wants to take their own life, they’re going to take their own life.

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And again, I really have no sympathy for them. Because there’s always, ALWAYS a better way. And if you can’t see that, maybe you don’t deserve to be here…

Sorry?

 

Scream at me

 

-Rooks

Written and posted in Las Vegas, Nevada.

“Suicide capital of America.” -NPR

 

Featured Photo: pix a bay artist: “counselling”

Suicide note photo: pixabay artist: “rebeccawithey”

Soldier photo: pixabay artost: “skeeze”

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13 thoughts on “How I Feel About: Suicide

  1. Noelle says:

    Nicely said Rooks, you know I share a lot of opinions with you regards to suicide. I think it is the most selfish act one can commit and the only people I feel for are the ones left behind, family and friends etc. They are the ones who have to pick up the pieces and deal with the consequences of that selfish act.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The Brain in the Jar says:

    I love this post. We think so differently, but that’s what makes it fun.

    Let’s start off with some obvious statements:

    – No one chooses to live. Life is forced on us. We cannot consent to it.

    – Life isn’t desirable in and of itself. Non-existence can be preferable for various reasons.

    – Suicide is selfish for the same reason suicide prevention is. Suicide prevention is to prevent the grief of losing a loved one.

    – Selfishness doesn’t equal immorality.

    I don’t think suicide is selfish in an immoral way. Yes, it hurts people.

    When a girl rejects you sexually it also hurts you, yet it doesn’t mean that the girl should have sex with you against her will. That’s rape.

    Same case with suicide. No one has a moral obligation to live. No one ever consented to living in the first place. We were forced to live, and so why should we be grateful for that? Why should we stick around if it’s not worth it?

    People should respect others’ right to die. Talk to suicidal people. Some of them may want to live. Some of them may prefer non-existence for the same reason you won’t have sex with that guy down the street. One of you isn’t gay so it won’t work.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. The Brain in the Jar says:

        I have a post elaborating on this a little more if you want to get in-depth. I’ll be interested in your thoughts even if you disagree with me.
        Sure, the ‘no sympathy for suicide’ viewpoint is politically incorrect but you can explain yourself so I’m excited.

        Like

  3. Freya Lin says:

    I understand your point of view and yes suicide is a selfish act. That being said sometimes there are scenarios, environment, culture, and so on involved. You cannot generalize every suicide, yes it is self inflict but as I said it all depends. There are some who has no one to talk too and it drove them in to a brink of suicide because of their depression example the girl who was kidnapped and got raped thousands of times and that’s all she knew, everyday in her life, she had enough and took her life, she was living in hell, she had no one..alone, being in situations like that it’s very easy to loose sight of the bright side. There are environment where they do not know how to express their emotions, the third world countries or the countries which pushes their people to the brink of psychotic break. These people doesn’t know anything about depression, or may not be able to afford any medication or to see a doctor. In some countries they try to hide this because it sees as weakness. So, they never really know. People who has depression can’t help it. That is why they need to be treated. It is a mental illness. There are a lot of sector in which why some people commit suicide. I do agree on your part though, if people who committed suicide had the chance to talk to their loved ones, had a chance to get treatment, had a chance to get help. Then yes, it is hard to feel sorry for them but there are people who committed suicide that I have read in the news, what they have been through and how their environment is. I feel bad for them because they don’t have any love ones, they don’t have a healthy environment. they can’t afford treatment, they don’t even know they needed help. They don’t fully understand how to handle their emotions. Well, that’s just my opinion.

    All in all it was a good read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Robert Lovelle Rooks says:

      The part about the woman who was kidnapped and raped a thousand times, I remember now that I didn’t aka it a point to say that I do in fact have sympathy for the SITUATIONS which bring someone to this point. But when they get to the point where they lose the will to live… is where my feelings become misplaced. Thanks for commenting, Brid! #teambread

      Like

  4. Laura says:

    I completely respect your opinion I do have sympathy for those who have thought it was their only way out. Ive known many people who have tried or have commit suicide. I have been there and even though I have kids now and I would never try it again when my depression get bad I still think about it a lot.
    I am so glad that none of my attempts worked because I would have missed out on the good things. Even though I didn’t know what good things were to come for me I knew there had to be because my last suicide attempt actually saved my life and what are the odds of that. My prescription medications that I took slowed down the leathal dose of methamine that had been put in my drinks. Even though I spent a few days in the ICU I ended up alright. And if that doesn’t say you are meant to be here idk what.
    Also, looking back I realize what a slap in the face it was to my parents who fought so hard to stay alive and go through all the pain that came with heart disease and cancer so that they could be here for us. While I wish I could have had more time with them I’m thankful they did. They taught me that you have to fight for life for your family. Even though my life is far from perfect I still have a chance to make it better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Robert Lovelle Rooks says:

      I knew you’d have some real thoughts on this one.

      The part about how you didn’t know the good things life had in store for you further proves that what I was trying to say…. life IS worth living. Even if you don’t know it yet. Love you!

      Like

  5. coastalmom says:

    I JUST read this and you nailed everything I wish I’d said. I got a lot of response yesterday when I wrote about the same thing with the same senitment! And received one challenging comment. I ended up approving and responding to. And then decided to wander over to their blog and found your comment… SOOO right on that I had to come and see what you were about. It is kind of funny because I don’t get a lot of challenging comments. I have kind of grown comfortably safe in my little niche of my wordpress neighborhood with my loyal readers and commenters. But this has stretched me a bit. And this piece of yours has inspired me. Your writing is epic. I am definitely following!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Robert Lovelle Rooks says:

      Thank you, so much for reading and commenting! I’m glad we agree (even though I ALWAYS welcome opposing theories and opinions).
      I’ll definitely follow back and for sure I’m reading your take on the subject. Thanks again!

      Like

  6. Fallon says:

    This one really hits home because my mother was suicidal, at times my sister was and I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts in the past. I come from a family that has struggled with abuse and depression and those things trickled down from generation to generation.
    Around the age of 7 is when my views about suicide would be formed. During this time, my parents’ relationship was in utter turmoil. They fought about everything; there was always shouting and crying in my household- those were the only sounds I knew. There was never any peace. At some point, my parents separated and my Dad moved out. Occasionally, he would spend the night with us in our apartment. Well, one morning after fighting with my mother, my Dad left to go to work. My mother was upset and locked herself in her room.
    A couple of minutes later my father returned because he had left his wallet in our apartment. He tried to enter the bedroom but the door was locked. My dad knocked on the door but got no reponse. He began pushing on the door and must have felt the heaviness against it. He eventually busted through and found my Mom hanging on the opposite side of the door.
    I entered the room after he had already removed the cord from around her neck. But I remember the impressions in her neck from where the cord had been, her purple face, watery eyes and her cough. It was the most terrifying sight. I instantly felt feelings of abandonment. All I could think in my 7 year old mind was that my mother was willing to kill herself with her children right in the other room; she was going to let us fend for ourselves. I was scared and hurt and didn’t know how to process what I was seeing. So I hid myself in a closet and I cried and I cried. I thought it was the most selfish thing anyone could do- to inflict that kind of pain upon those you love. My mother was not successful in taking her life but the repercussions and the affect on her children is still evident. I struggled with saying “I love you” to her for several years during my adolosence. Although that has changed, showing affection (hugs and kisses) is still awkward for me. I love her dearly but it’s difficult to express that. My parents are still together and their relationship has vastly improved.
    Although I have struggled with suicidal thoughts, it is not something I could ever actually do. I could never put my children through that pain. And I wouldn’t ever want them to feel like they weren’t loved enough for me to stick around. So, I agree with you on several points in this blog. However, I do empathize with those who have decided to take their lives. I know what depression feels like and I know sometimes a situation is so overwhelming you don’t know how to reach out for help. But thank you for your thoughts on this matter.

    Liked by 1 person

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