My Problem with Spanish… in America


So as you know I’m poor and broke.  You know there IS a difference.  As I’d define it, being broke is simply being without money at a certain period of time.  Being poor is having low amounts or no money as a lifestyle.  That’s me.  I’m poor.  AND I’m currently broke.  I recall Cee-lo saying in a song [before he lost his black ass mind] “I kinda like being poor, at least I know what my friends [are] here for…”.  Yes… I used to think that man was a genius…  Anywho, with this being said, even LESS people want to hang out with me, and like Fergie and Luda so rudely put “If you ain’t got no money keep your broke ass home.”  So… I’m here, writing.


I’ve been wanting to write this blog for some time now.  It’s probably the easiest thing for me to write.  Aside from What’s the best national Pizza chain and 8 cylinder Vs. ? cylinder, it’s the most prominent argument I find myself in.


Let’s get all the misconceptions about my thought process out of the way.


I don’t dislike Spanish-speaking cultures.


I LOVE Latinas, and I LOVE tacos… and beans,  And I sometimes park my car in my lawn too.  I love it when girls call me “papi” and There’s a little thing called “Latin Percussion” that I’m deeply vested in.


My problem is strictly with Spanish in America.  Moreover, the overflow of Spanish culture in America; and the unfair advantage latino cultures seem to have over all others.  I’ve found myself at work saying lately [within the last 2 years] that gays and Latinos have more rights than anyone in America right now.  And I really think it’s true.


At my children’s last school, they had a program to honor the students for good grades, behavior and improvement.  The speaker spoke English first, and there was a teacher there translating everything she said into Spanish.  Both were Mexican.  When the lady got to the name calling, the translator took her leave.  The speaker enunciated the Spanish names ever so correctly.  And mis-pronounced BOTH of my children’s first names.  They’re very simple names by the way.

They also had no mention of Black History month at our school, however made the BIGGEST hoopla over Hispanic Heritage Month.


Now I know how white people feel.


Back to the school program:  I looked over the sea of pupils and parents and I noticed something.  *GASP*  There were MORE than Whites, Blacks, and Hispanics in the crowd!  There were Vietnamese!  Arabs.  Africans.  And Koreans.  Probably more.  But was there a translator speaking Swahili?  Was there a translator speaking Vietnamese, Arabic, or Hangul?  Of COURSE not.  Why?  Because Hispanics are apparently the only ones that deserve special treatment.  Apparently Hispanics are the only ones who deserve to be able to come to America, work and live here and NOT fucking learn English.


I’ve begged myself not to get started on this topic in writing because I know no matter how logical and rational the argument, SOMEONE was going to get a palito up their ass about all this.  But if people really sat back and thought… it’s NOT fair.  It’s NOT right. It really isn’t.


As far as global business goes, English is THE international language… that’s just the way it is.  But can I go to any other country and get a job on the economy not knowing a LICK of the native tongue?  Absolutely not.


I can’t go to China and try to get a job at the local popular food chain and not know any Mandarin.

I can’t go to Germany and try to get a job at a factory GMBH. and not know any Deutsch.

Same for The Philippines, Kuwait, France, Italy, Spain, and New Jersey.  Yes… I’m saying New Jersey has it’s own language.  Get over it.


But seriously, How lazy and inconsiderate do you have to be?  I’ve even seen the English/Spanish language barrier [in America] become a work hazard!  I know the FAA mandates anyone working maintanance on aircraft in America MUST read, write, and understand English.  But go down to San Antonio Aerospace and tell me you don’t find at least 60 people who don’t speak English… at ALL.  It’s ridiculous.


I went to the McDonalds in Austin, Tx. on IH35 and William Cannon a few years back with my family.  I asked a lady mopping the floors if there was a door to the playground out back and she said “Sorry, I don’t speak English” with a HORRIBLE accent.  I barely made out what she said.  But she apparently had that phrase down as a response to give anyone who didn’t speak Espanol.  Really?  Austin…  No English?  Working?  At Mcdonalds?


Job announcements:  Must have 6 years of experience or 2 years of College.  Must have reliable transportation and be bilingual.


I’ll call them and tell them I know German and English.  They’ll inevitably respond, “oh we meant Spanish.”  In Texas and PROBABLY California “Bilingual” apparently means Spanish and [some] English.


It’s insane.  And I don’t give two shits whether I’m the only one that feels this way.  Yes, you’re proud Latino’s.  Proud of your heritage.  That’s FANTASTIC.  But hey… look where you are now.  I mean honestly, if where you’re from is THAT great… why aren’t you there?  That goes for anybody.  Like the guys with the flags from their homeland hanging down from their rear view…  Who is that for?  Do YOU need to be reminded that you’re from Puerto Rico or are you trying to tell everyone else?  I mean.. thats cool and all but gotdamn.  We here in America speak English.  I don’t give a damn what the national language is set as… or ISN’T set as.

And just in case people were wondering… Latinos aren’t the only ones with Heritage… just the only ones who think that the rest of America NEEDS to cater to it.


And I know… people will talk shit about me because I’m “black”.  But dude, I was born in Wichita Falls, TEXAS! I’m a veteran of the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE AND ARMY. I pay AMERICAN State and government taxes.  All the paperwork proving that is in English.  And it kills me when I have to call my government and press 1, 2, or even 3 for English.  It makes me sick.



Either we start catering to EVERY proud sub-culture we have here in America.  And have signs posted everywhere with 900 languages… OR… we just do things the easy and smart way, and learn and speak English.  At the house, in your car… speak whatever you want ya know?




Got myself a little worked up.  Sorry, I just spent 11 months being an immigrant in another country, and I come back to MY home and I still feel like one.  Speak English in America, have a great day.


scream at me


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