Find a willing woman. Find a willing man [nothing tough about that]. Open legs. Insert unshielded penis. Voila. Right? I don’t know what the exact statistcs are, but there’s a pretty good chance that this is a winning combination for a baby to naturally be created. Sorry gays. You’ll figure something out one day I’m sure.
So, since it seems everyone who has had unprotected sex, or has been through sex ed, or of course naturally had a child of their own knows this; but at what point do we go from willinginly creating a child, to becomming bad parents?
First off, I’d like to say everyone’s idea of a bad/good parent is different. I personally think adorning your infant with YOUR favorite clothing, sports jerseys, hats, and jewelry is ridiculous, but it’s far from making one a bad parent. I think giving a little black 3 year old a perm is fucked up… but I don’t think that’ll make you a bad parent. I don’t like the fact that some parents curse around, to, and at their children; but I still don’t think THAT makes up a bad parent. Some may think leaving a 9 year old at the house while you go work is wrong… but yeah, I still don’t think that makes you a bad parent.
However, if you total all those things up. And you do all that with your kid? Well damn, that sounds like a recipe for disaster.
There are no perfect parents in the world, but I’m sure we can get a few types out of the way just to make sure there are SOME isochronalized standards for bad parents.
-Those who murder their kids. Given
-Those who give up their kids. [yes, there might be someone better suitable than you… but that doesn’t make you a good parent for giving them up… you’re not even legally a parent anymore. So. BAD]
-Those who allow their children to be abused in ANY fashion by ANYONE. Including you, the parent.
-Those who use their children as a means to get money or other compensation
-Those who use children as tools to get back at lovers, parents or anyone.
Now, those are extremes that I believe maybe… 99% of the people in the world could see eye to eye on. But what about the grey areas?
Some people think that gays shouldn’t raise children. I happen to agree, however I know for CERTAIN that there are some gay parents out there doing a DAMN good job at raising their kids, so I won’t even get into that.
Some people think that interacial couples shouldn’t have children. To me, that’s just dumb. But some people feel that way. I feel, they’ve got the love, they’ve got the tools to make it happen [you know, a penis and a vagina] and the means to care for them, go for it. Color? Nonsense.
Some people think that siblings or cousins shouldn’t have children… because they will be one eyed cyclops’ or some other sort of freak of nature. I just think it’s nasty either way… even though sometimes you don’t know if you’re marrying a distant cousin. LoL but siblings? Ewl.
BUT WE SEE IT ALL THE TIME ON T.V. and in the news and everyday life don’t we? We see it in the Piggly Wiggly, the Harris Teeter, the H-E-B, the Kroger, the mall, the internet and of course the Wal-Mart.
It’s 15 degrees outside. The mother has on a jacket and fuzzy warm snowcap. The 13 month old has on a onesie with no socks and no hat.
It’s 110 degrees outside and you leave your 2 year old in the car with the windows down while you go in and get lottery tickets
You have a 13 year old daughter and you let her “boyfriend” spend the night in her room… or much worse, live with you! Come on!
You log on to Youtube and Facebook to upload videos of your daughter wearing bootie shorts, pop lockin and droppin. And she’s 5 years old.
You’re at your 18 year olds soccer game. Fighting in the stands. Every. Fucking. Game.
Missing “your weekend with the kid(s)” several times. For BULLSHIT.
You’ve never read a book to your child.
You never tell them how much you love them.
You never tell your daughter how beautiful she is.
You’re always at work, and rarely see your children.
Your kid meets a different man or woman every week.
Your kid has unlimited and unsupervised access to the internet and cable.
Your child has no bedtime during the school year.
You don’t encourage your kids to have friends.
You allow bad experiences in your life to directly affect how you treat your child
Yes, these are the things that happen every day. To parents that think they’re the shit! Parents that think they are holding it down. Parents that’ll be ready to throw down if anyone called them a bad parent.
I don’t always see being a bad parent as a title. I see being a bad parent as something that can come and go and happen to anyone. I’ve been a bad parent before. I LEFT HOME, to go to another state to be with another woman for a MONTH! My oldest child was the only one we had at the time. She missed me, and she didn’t have to. I didn’t need to be away and I wasn’t working. I was just gone. That was me being a bad parent. My wife will never let me forget it. And that’s good. It’s times we recognize ourselves as being bad parents that allow us to remember it’s possible and to never repeat those mistakes. That instance doesn’t make me a bad father now. It made me one then. It was a bad parent decision to make. I was a bad parent the entire time I was gone. And I was a bad parent until I realized it was wrong.
So, I’m writing this because I know a lot of parents. I know a lot of women. And I know of and see a lot of pregnant girls for the first time that don’t have a CLUE. They got pregnant in a very irresponsible way and out of spite to their parents, their baby daddy, and maybe to themselves lol they’re going to have that baby no matter what. And thats a good thing. But you need to change. The irresponsible things you did to get that way cant continue on into parent hood. Goes for the guys even more. The mistake has been made. If you two don’t like each other you still have a job to do. Get off those video games, get out of your parents house, get off of facebook, turn those gotdamn soap operas off, get a job, and start learning what it’s all about.
Before I get off topic.
Just because you have a child, and a home, and a job does NOT make you a good parent! Sucks right? You can be a stay at home mom and do EVERYTHING for your kids and still not be a good parent. Being there really isn’t enough. Yeah sure, you’ll get plenty of credit for doing your job as a parent. And your kids will love you because… thats what kids do. But don’t let the every day grind of being a mommy or daddy let you forget that quality time is the most important part of being a parent. The logistics: paying bills, changing diapers, getting them to school, having adequate car seats, buying clothes… VERY important, very essential. But as for that future adult you’re trying to raise, the quality time and life lessons you teach are going to be what shine through.
Don’t be too tired from the logistics of being a parent to forget to watch some of those childrens movies that you put your kids in front of. Don’t forget to read one of those painstaking books that they bring home from the library. I know I know… that five minutes could’ve been spent playing Madden, or watching “The Game” or the game… but hey. What’s really important? Been to play outside with your kid lately? I know it’s hot. But THEYRE out there. Grab a hat and a gatorade, and toss that ball around a little! Men, teach your kid how to mow the lawn, or how to water the grass. Cut the fucking sprinklers off and put the hose in your sons hand. Or take him outside to help change the oil. Hell, take your daughter too!
My point is simple. There’s a huge area between being a good parent and a bad parent. And just because you’ve been a bad parent at one time doesn’t mean you’re going to stay that way. But this is the hardest and most involved job in the world. 99.9% of the time, YOU CHOSE this job. You don’t have to be a murderer, or a molester to be a bad parent. There are a combination of other things that aren’t necessarily illegal that can add up to you just not cutting the mustard. Take a step back, stop being so self-righteous and proud; look at all you do and don’t do for/with your children and ask yourself if you can do better.
Realize the mistakes you’ve made in your parenting and never do them again. That’s how you can keep from ever being a bad parent.
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