You Can’t Handle A Black Woman


Sorry I’ve been away for so long.  Truth’s At Distance and the publishing process have had me running crazy.  Plus the whole… day job.  Seven days a week ten hours a day. LoL.  But yeah, during that time I was engaged in conversation with an ex-girlfriend.  I asked her a very stupid question, but I felt compelled to ask.  It led to me writing this blog which I considered Vlogging but… you all know I suck at VLOGS. So here goes:

I’d like to start out by saying respectfully you women are ALL FUCKING NUTS! ALL OF YOU! No matter what color, age, or… WHATEVER.  You’re all crazy.

With that being said, I’ve always wondered why black women [and by “Black Women” I mean “So many black women”] take pride in believing they’re so much harder to ‘handle’ than other races?

Ever heard a black man say he doesn’t mess with black women?

Ever heard a black woman talk shit about black men? [If you haven’t, you’ve never spoken to a black woman]

Ever heard a black woman claim to need a stronger than average man?

Because… apparently us regular men just can’t HANDLE them.

This alludes to these black women thinking that there’s something about them that makes them different from women of other races.  Let’s get into this.

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Black women:

Your shit stinks.

Your vagina is ugly.

Your hair is… whatever you make it.

You’re crazy.

You’re vindictive.

You’re a jealous wreck.

You’re moody.

You lie… about IMPORTANT SHIT.

White/Hispanic/Canadian/Maori/Brazilian… women:

Hold up, GASP!  All the same attributes!  What a fuckin’ shock!

So why is it some women like to claim black men migrate to… I don’t know, let’s say “white women” because they’re so much easier?  Are you nuts?

We’ve already established that.

The neck rolling.  The attitude.  The Stankonia… it’s all the same.  I know a lot of you Pro-Black, Nubian, Africa-this Africa-That people are just rolling your eyes at me right now… but you know it’s true.  To the brothas that have dabbled in things other than black, I wonder if your penis shot out sperm when you had sex.  I wonder if her breast felt disgusting in your hands.  I’m just trying to figure out what the difference is, so I can stop feeling like I want to slap black women for saying such stupid shit.

I told my ex that I’ve always felt they thought they were owed something.  Like… when I’m in Maine, or Europe or… the Library [you know… places you won’t find many black men] the women there treat me like I’m a commodity!  The other-than-black women that is.  It’s amazing.

I’ve noticed the not-so-subtle differences in the way a woman of a different race will approach me… or that they even approach me at all!  It’s uncanny.  (Hell, the last black woman that approached me [who was GORGEOUS] learned not to like me QUICK… and I believe it was mostly because she expected way too much from me just because I’m black) It’s always been my experience that a black woman will be the FIRST one to talk down on me.  Without even knowing me.  Whereas a white woman will start by telling me all the attributes I as a black man have that she prefers…  Do you still wonder why a man would chose a white woman over you?

And don’t act like you don’t fucking care!

I’ve heard the conversations.  All the way from the mid-nineties “Waiting To Exhale” times to just yesterday.  Some of you REALLY think that we can’t HANDLE you so we move to other races.

That you’re too aggressive, and too strong.  Stop fucking kidding yourselves.

The fabled “Strong Black Woman”

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Yes.  I LOVE a strong black woman.  But Strong Black Woman doesn’t = Emasculator of [black] men. And you’re not a strong black woman just because… your black.  Sorry.  There are requirements.

My mother is the strongest black woman I know!  But she doesn’t ever try to make my father feel like less of a man.  She doesn’t decide whether she’s going to “let” my dad be the head of their marriage and household.  He just IS.  And she plays her position, holding him up while he plays his.

That’s the difference maybe.  Maybe the strong black women of yesteryear told their daughters that they were something to be cherished, and held on to.  But they weren’t told that it wasn’t just because they had big asses and beautiful skin.  It was because the black woman was the perfect counterpart to a black man.  Because a good black woman knows how to make a black man remember why he wants his strong black woman in the first place.  Not regret ever knowing her.

I won’t say whose fault it is that its gone this way.  Because I don’t know.  Willy Lynch.  Black Mothers.  The Absent Black Father Figure, The Black Film industry.  Rap Music. Or Black Men.  But I DO know who can make it stop.  But how about, let’s first stop acting like we’re [men] the ones with the issue because we date outside of our race.

I don’t have a problem with it, and I’ve often given the advice to just go with whoever makes you feel good, and loved.  Whoever does it for you.  Doesn’t matter what color they are.

If you can cook me some good scrambled eggs with cheese, give me my attention, stay out of my cell phone, laugh at my jokes, and help me stay focused… I’m all in!  I don’t care what color you are.  I actually don’t care what you look like at all!

Stop taking pride in being a problem.  Take pride in being something worth having, and don’t blame other women for the reason why no one desires you.  Maybe then you won’t have to worry about being “handled”.  You’ll be too busy being loved.

-Rooks

Like my blogs? Check out my books, visit: www.WriterRLR.com

Black woman in tacky emerald dress: pixabay artist “luxstorm”

Black girl with meanmug: pixabay artist “sabinemondestin”

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6 thoughts on “You Can’t Handle A Black Woman

  1. Sarah says:

    No matter the skin color a man and a woman both have their place within within relationship. It’s not that one race is easier or harder than the other. I definitely agree. maybe once more women get over our own egos to move through what can come off as very offensive (although still true) women can see what it truly means to be a strong woman. If you want a man in your life you need in fact let them be a man. I have learned this the hard way. I have definitely emasculated men in my life before. Although I know I am capable, educated, convey strong convictions with a strength of voice most would be hard pressed to match; letting a man do it and take the lead when Deamed necessary is the awareness the strongest of women have. One’s ability to fly a plane with both a captain and co captian; Interchanging between those roles ever so slightly is the key. If a woman wants to be ALL captain, thats cool. I’ve been there too….but don’t be blaming men for not being able to handle you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Robert Lovelle Rooks says:

      I love the Captain speech. And although I never agree with the term ‘let a man be a man’ because it somewhat implies we need you gals to let us be men… but I know what yall mean is don’t try to stop us fro, being men. So I normally don’t nitpick over the verbiage. You’re absolutely right. And again… people think I’m hard one women, but I ALWAYS bring it back to us…
      The reason women are so afraid of ‘letting us” be men is because all the times men have let them down. So, I really cant blame the ladies on that either.

      Like

      1. Ashlie says:

        I recently explained to my boyfriend this very thing. My mother had me when she was 17 my father was 19….babies having babies. I had no example of women respecting men because my 6 aunts and uncles I recently explained to my boyfriend this very thing. My mother had me when she was 17 my father was 19….babies having babies. I had no example of women respecting men because my 6 aunts and uncles including my father were on drugs or alcoholics (functioning) in the 80’s/90’s. Being 30 now and being in a committed relationship I’m learning a lot about myself. EVERYTHING I have I’ve gotten it on my own….it was really hard. I often thought of calling my mother and father but quickly realized they were worse off than me….They called me to help them. Often times Disappointed, the pain from the frustration of feeling like I have NO ONE turned into resentment or anger. Even though I grow up with my father he never kept/keeps his promises. I’ve relocated from my home town San Diego to LA, I told him I wanted him to come visit….he always says he will but it’s been four years and he still hasn’t come. The invitation is me telling my Father I need him, I need his company, I need to feel valued by him and I need a little bit of his time. (That’s were most women turn to men) Young women need that emotional support from their Fathers…if a women’s emotions are not nurtured correctly the heart hardens. It makes it much harder for men to get in. (This is where the high expectations come from)
        It’s hard for me to not say fuck it I’ll do it myself! I’ve been having to figure it out….in my head I’ve felt like if I can’t depend on my father….depending on my bf (Who I love so dearly but I’m battling with respecting because I don’t really know what it is or looks like) is out of the question (sometimes). MOST of the black women friends I know have that type of pain tucked away, some don’t even know it exist inside of them. It’s fear of rejection, fear of more emotional brokenness(all women are emotional) many have not had any man take time to help her stabilize her feeling. (That’s why all your shit end up destroyed at the end of your relationships lol) So they flash and become argumentative instead of effectively communicating. They are gorgeous and career oriented very successful (my friends) They so deeply desire a black man, however, they have no idea how to give respect without feeling weak or emotionally miss treated. (Who really takes the time to invest in black women??? Who really has patience with her??) Mostly her friends, who she’s allowed to be emotionally vulnerable with in the toughest times of her life. Black women just like black men are not acknowledged in the world we live in. People usually only see us when they want something from us, including Black men. We are usually ugly into our attributes are put on another race, and that will make anybody feel horrible. I didn’t intend on making this post so long… I’m not making excuses for black women at all, I do have empathy for those that I think a ratchet and I prejudge and get on my nerves. One of my older friends would always say, if people knew better they would do better. I wasn’t able to do better until I got in the relationship that I’m in with my boyfriend, who is kind and patient and loving towards me. It’s only by gods grace he’s making me aware of my issues as a black woman so that I can work through them and be respectful to the wonderful black man he’s sent me. ❤️
        my father were on drugs or alcoholics (functioning). Being 30 now and being in a committed relationship, EVERYTHING I have I’ve gotten it on my own….it was really hard. Even though I grow up with my father he never kept/keeps his promises. I’ve relocated from my home town to LA, I told him I wanted him to come visit….he always says he will but it’s been four years and he still hasn’t come. The invitation is me telling my Father I need him, I need his company, I need to feel valued by him and I need a little bit of his time.
        It’s hard for me to not say fuck it I’ll do it myself! I’ve had to figure it out….in my head I’ve felt like if I can’t depend on my father….depending on you is far from how I will handle this relationship. MOST of the black women friends I know have that type of pain tucked away. It’s fear of rejection or allowing the wrong nigga in because of the games played in the past. They are gorgeous and career oriented very successful!!

        Liked by 1 person

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